


No More Lies

by nafio



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Gen, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-09-18
Updated: 2000-09-17
Packaged: 2017-10-05 01:04:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 33,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nafio/pseuds/nafio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick Carter has been hiding something all his life. When a terrible accident forces him to reveal his secret, will the group be able to accept him for who he truly is?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A.J. McLean watched the sports car come careening towards him and slowed the bus. "Miracle they made that turn," he said to himself. "They gotta be on something. Dangerous, 'specially tonight."

It was about four am, the concert had ended around 11:30 and A.J. was on his way to the next town. The members of the band were all asleep, but A.J. was always hyper after a show, and was nowhere near being tired just yet. When the bus driver, who had a bad cold this week, decided he needed a nap, A.J. had been more than happy to take over. It had only stopped raining about half an hour ago; the roads were still slick. On this particular mountain road, water was still trickling down the hillside.

As the car zoomed past, A.J. shook his head. He wondered what his groupmates in the bus ahead had thought of the wackos who were still awake at four in the morning. "Not unlike this wacko," he reminded himself. "Wonder if any of them are still awake?"

The Backstreet bus had left the hotel not long before the band's bus, perhaps fifteen minutes. With the rain and the dark, A.J. had quickly lost sight of them. Now, he was keeping an eye out, intending to honk and wakeup whoever had decided to crash after the show. He kept driving, keeping a careful eye out on the winding road ahead of him. It wasn't long until he saw the twisted barrier, steam still rising off it after the impact. With a horrible feeling in his gut, A.J. parked the bus. "Just gonna see if anyone needs any help," he told himself.

He grabbed a flashlight from under the seat, and hopped out, trying to get a signal on his cell phone. Nothing. "Fuck no-service zones!" he yelled to the sky, trying to convince himself he was panicking over nothing. He made his way to the side of the road and peered down. What he saw made his knees give out. A.J. sank to the gravel, a choked whimper escaping from his throat. Halfway down the incline, lodged against a tree, upside down and smoking, was the Backstreet bus.

* * *

"Nick?"

Nick regained consciousness only to be hit with wave after wave of pain. Pain was bad, he decided and started to slip back into his peaceful piece of oblivion.

"Nickolas Gene Carter, don't you dare lose consciousness on me again!" the voice persisted. It was a strong, female voice, underlain with a thin edge of fear. He struggled to identify it.

"Lina?" His voice was hoarse. He tried telepathy instead, suddenly realising she wouldn't be anywhere she could hear him anyway. "Lina?"

"Yes! He's awake! He knows who I am!" she rejoiced to unknown others. "It's ok Nicky, we're going to get you out of there. It's gonna be ok now."

In a vague, indifferent sort of way he realised that something had happened, some kind of accident. Hence the pain. Lina must be heading the rescue mission. It was going to be fine. Lina had never let him down. He felt the warm, familiar tingle of teleportation.. but something twigged and he resisted.

"Wait." His muddled brain sorted things out while he 'pathed her, taking comfort from her ultra-familiar mental hold. "Pain. Accident. Bus? Am I on the bus?"

"Yes, sweetie. Let me get you out, now."

"I'm not alone. Where are the others? How are they?"

After a pause, where Lina actually thought to shield her conference from his mind, she replied. "Anyone else in there is unconscious. I heard you scream, but it took us fifteen minutes to get you conscious enough to actually feel you, and another five to get you this far."

"I'm more use to you and them in here."

"Nick, you need medical help."

"So do they. I won't leave them."

"!!" She growled and Nick actually found himself amused. "I'll pull you out by force."

"I'll resist." She'd win, but he might die in the process.

"DAMMIT! He's being unreasonable."

"Who's in charge here?" The new voice ricocheted in broadcast through the heads of every psychic on the rescue team, and Nick's as well.

"Mindi?" he reached out for the mind of Mindi Abair, the only other psychic on the tour.

"Oh my God. Nick. You're alive." She definitely felt hysterical.

Lina cut into their reunion. "Mindi? Lina Allen, special ops. You're the blonde up on the road there?"

"That's me. Is... are they..."

"IF Nick would let us move him, we'd get working on him and he'd be fine." Lina's exasperation was evident. "However he's insisting on participating in the rescue. Can you give us a hand?"

"I can't convince Mr. Stubborn, of anything... can I, Nick?" The mental impression of an affectionate kiss helped Nick forget about his physical pain for a few seconds. "Anything else?"

"You probably know it saves energy for us to all be present and visible in the physical plane. Cover us?"

"Um... the rest of the band's still asleep and I can keep 'em that way, no problem. A.J...."

"Oh god." For a split second Nick visualised himself on the road, looking down on whatever had happened ... to the other four. "Lina, go ahead. Don't worry about him. Mindi... explain to him we'll be all right."

"Great. I got Boner duty." The sarcastic crack made Nick grin... and hurt again.


	2. Chapter 2

Mindi sent some very compelling deep-sleep imagery into the minds of the rest of the occupants of the bus, and prepared to calm A.J. His distress had woken her, and now that distress had to be dealt with. She was sitting next to him, her arms around him, rocking him gently. He still hadn't shed a tear, the shock was just too great. "They'll be ok, Alex... I swear."

He stared down at the smoking wreckage, wordlessly disbelieving. "I shoulda been on there."

"Shhh." she hugged him. "Don't say crap like that."

"It's true. All for one, one for all. They're my brothers, Mindi. I should be down there with them."

"And if you were down there, who'd help 'em through this?"

"What can I... what the FUCK is going on??" Lina and her crew of assorted psychics chose that moment to either make themselves visible or teleport in from other locations. Suddenly the area around the bus was swarming with flashlights.

"They're here to help."

"Who the... I couldn't even call anyone."

"But Nick could."

"Nick's alive? He's ok? Where is he?" A.J. was so excited he skipped over all the other questions.

"He's alive. I'm not sure how you'd define 'ok', and he's still in the bus." Mindi steeled herself for the inevitable spate of questions as A.J. looked from the no-longer smoking wreckage to her, and back again. "You have seriously flipped" was written all over his face.

* * *

"All right. We're all here now. Nick, *please* let me get you out of there." Lina begged.

"I'm their best chance of survival." he insisted.

She sighed, then went to work. "So they're all alive?"

"I'd know if they weren't." he replied, suddenly realising the truth of that statement.

"More specific, Nickolas. If you're going to work, work."

He fell silent and stretched out his senses to the other occupants of the bus. Warmth filled him as he touched Howie, Kevin and Brian. They were all badly hurt but... "Bob's dead."

"Bob?" Lina's voice filled with anxiety. "Your dad's on the.."

"No! The bus driver."

"Oh. Damn. Well we'll leave him till last then. Where are the others?"

"Brian's..." Nick sucked air into his aching lungs, stunned at what he could feel. "Shit. I take the bunk under his... but he's under me. I think I'm crushing him!"

"Wake him up." she instructed calmly. Nick had been on tens of rescue teams before. He knew the drill, but she knew that it was completely different on the other side of the line.

Nick tried to calm himself. This was a psychic rescue operation. He was one of the best on the continent. So was Lina. But this was *BRIAN*. Brian, his big brother, his best friend. The guy who hated hospitals, who had a heart condition. In the back of his mind, he heard Lina softly coaching him on the centring technique psychics used before making contact with non-psychics.

"Away from your body. Into your self. You. No physical barriers. No where. No what."

"Just how, just why, just do." His own pain floated away as Nick let go of his body. He reached out for Brian, concentrating not on his smile, his sandy hair, his short body, but on his spirit. Brian's sense of humour. His determination. His generosity. His love, his fear.

The fear hit Nick head-on. Brian had retreated away from physical pain but on some level he was still aware of what was happening, and was deathly afraid. Instead of the somewhat clinical calming influence he would usually use, Nick surrounded Brian with love.

"It's all right Bri. I'm gonna get you to safety. It's all right. I'm here."

Still on that very safe unconscious level, Brian responded tentatively. "Nicky?"

"Yeah, it's me. I'm here. I'll make sure you're ok."

"You will?"

"I'll protect you." Nick assured him. "I know it's horrible and hard in the real world, but Brian, I need you to wake up." He began weaving a net that would protect his friend from most of the pain once he reached consciousness.

"Something very bad..."

"I know Bri. I know. But you gotta trust me. I'll handle the pain, and then I'm gonna hand you off to some people that are gonna make you all better. Wake up."

"You'll stay with me?"

"I can't stay the whole time. But all you have to do is yell, ok? I'll be right there."

"Promise?"

"Absolutely. Now c'mon." Nick held the net tight as Brian edged towards consciousness. He let Brian's pain flow through him instead, until he could take it no more. "Lina?"

"Over-achiever," she grumbled, trying to hide her fear for him. Smoothly she let Nick do what he did best, acting as a conduit between psychic and non - feeding Brian's pain into one of the team specially designated for this kind of thing. Then Brian was fully awake and Nick moved on to stage two. Slipping into Brian's conscious mind, Nick picked out all the information the team would need to get the kind of hair-trigger accuracy a medical teleportation required. He threw in a few things about the layout of the bus and dug up Brian's medical history before passing it all on to the waiting teleports.


	3. Chapter 3

While A.J. was still making up his mind, Mindi got a signal from Lina. "We're almost ready to move Brian. Can you fake the 911 call for us?"

"911? This is a no-service area."

"The bus doesn't have a radio?"

Mindi groaned. Of course the bus had a radio. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Of what?" A.J. asked. Mindi looked at him. Not only was A.J. going to learn about psychics tonight, he was going to learn about one of their most complicated group manoeuvres.

"Well... Nick asked me to explain things. I may as well. C'mon." She stood up and pulled A.J. up with her. "But everything I say from here on in... pretend Nick swore you to secrecy on whatever the deepest Backstreet oath is. 'Cause he will once he gets out of that mess."

"He's honestly going to get out of there?"

Mindi sighed. She had a pretty good idea what Nick was doing, and knew from the looks of the bus that he couldn't possibly be one hundred percent. "He's going to get the others out." It was all the truth she could muster. "Brian's first on the list."

"Brian's ok?"

"Brian's alive." A.J. looked pained. Mindi sighed, grabbed the flashlight from him, and began to lead the way back into the bus. "First rule. Psychics don't lie to each other. It's impossible in telepathy, so we don't waste time with it face-to-face either. And no, you're not a psychic, but Nick's told me to explain things to you. Non-psychic members of the community are treated like... disabled members of the community. So it applies to you too."

"Is there a rule book?" Mindi snickered, mainly with relief. He was beginning to calm down a little. If nothing else, she was distracting him.

"Yes Alex. It's in the library, entitled "So You Want to be a Psychic?""

"Huh?"

"Inside joke." They reached the bus and climbed in. "Are you better at the radio on this thing than I am?"

"Maybe? What do you want me to do?"

"Call in the accident. We need there to be official records... and for whatever the nearest hospital is to be ready to receive the guys."

"Receive them?"

"Psychics have day jobs, if you hadn't noticed. There are paramedics down there, ready and waiting. An ambulance or two will take a little longer to get here, but they're on their way."

"I'm confused."

"Just turn that thing on and call it in."

* * *

Nick sighed with relief as teleports used him to connect to Brian and remove him from the bus. Brian was going to be okay. Still channelling Brian's pain away from him, Nick slowly reached out for Howie and Kevin. Who was worst hurt? They were both pretty badly off, he discovered. All four of them had been in their bunks when whatever had happened, happened... which meant... Lina had said 'up there' on the road. That meant that the bus had probably rolled...so they'd been trapped in their bunks and banged around worse than if they'd been near a window. At least one of them would probably have been thrown free if they'd been up at the front, with all the windows.

"Don't dwell on it. At least we don't have to extract glass from anyone." Lina cut into his thoughts. "Now hurry it up. You're not in any shape to be carrying Brian's pain on top of your own."

He made no reply, but began centring himself again, a little harder to do this time, while having to deal with Brian as well, but possible. He decided to try for Howie next. If nothing else, it would make A.J. feel better. Getting through to him took quite a while, but Nick's knowledge that Howie was definitely not dead spurred him to greater efforts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inside joke refers to "So You Want to be a Wizard?" by [Diane Duane](http://www.ibmpcug.co.uk/~owls/homeward.html)


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, they've got Brian out." Mindi told A.J. after he had radioed for help. "He's a mess, but they say if we want to go down and see him..."

"Let's go!" He was about to dart out of the bus when she grabbed his wrist.

"Did you *see* what it's like on the way down? You are *not* going to risk adding yourself to the injured list, Alex."

"But you said..." A.J. whined in what Mindi thought was a fair approximation of Nick.

"I'll take you down. No running." _Nick Carter do you know what you're getting us into here?_

_"Shhh, Mindi. I'm trying to reach Howie."_

"Sorry."

"Now what?" A.J. demanded.

"Why do I keep doing that?" Mindi shook her head. "Gotta learn to stop verbalizing telepathy. I was apologising to Nick. I distracted him."

"Distracted him? What was he..." suddenly A.J. pulled himself up. "Asking that kind of shit isn't going to help anyone right now, is it?"

Mindi shook her head wordlessly, pleased that A.J. was getting it.

"So, I should shut up, listen to what you tell me and try and help them the best I can?"

"Good boy."

A.J. sighed. "It's easier to just let myself be distracted. I don't have to deal with the hell that's down there. But those are my brothers down there. I need to help. I need to be there for them."

"You gonna be alright?"

"I think so."

"Okay." Mindi mentally checked on the sleeping band, reinforcing their sleep patterns once again. "Then I'll take you down. I'll explain as we go. Hold my hands." A.J. reached out and took her hands. "All right. this is gonna feel a little weird. Just relax, and trust me. It'll be over in a second. Someone wanna give me an anchor?"

"A what?"

"Verbalizing." She shook her head, having received a response. "Let's go."

A.J. felt a warm tingle for a moment, but before he could even really think about what was happening, it was cold and dark again and they were a few yards from the bus. "Wow."

"Deep discussion about teleportation or check on B-rok?" He was suddenly very grateful for Mindi's practical approach.

"Check on B-rok." As they made their way between small groups of people to the larger, more active group where Brian was being helped, A.J. was struck by the silence. He could hear some of the earlier-morning birds, the wind in the trees, the gravel and twigs underfoot...even the bus creaking, although he tried to ignore that one...but there were none of the usual shouts and chatter he associated with an emergency. Few people were even moving. He noticed one particular group of people in chairs.

"What are they doing?" he asked Mindi, nodding over at them.

"That's the central unit. They're spending most of their energy on more important things than holding themselves up." She pointed over at one girl staring intently at the bus. "That's Lina Allen. She's in charge of everything...on good days, she's Nick's partner."

* * *

Lina felt A.J.'s eyes on her, but ignored him. She felt for him, she really did, but right now the only thing she cared about was getting Nick out in one piece. Without warning, memory washed over her.

"HELP!" Nick's voice broke into her dream in a totally panicked scream. She shot upright, mentally reaching for him before she could even get out of bed. Gone. Frantically she searched for him, any trace at all. Nothing. Lina nearly broke down right there, but her training kicked in instead. Recalling the tour schedule she'd memorised, she sent out a call, knowing that about eighty percent of the psychics in North America would have heard Nick's broadcast.

"This is Lina Allen, special ops. I need a sweep of Colorado *now*. We're looking for Nickolas Carter, possibly in the company of the Backstreet Boys. Use all available facilities and get back to me ASAP." The mere fact of having done something reassured her a little. She grabbed clothing from a heap on the floor, put on her glasses and hearing aid, and was just putting her hair into a ponytail when the reply came back.

"Lina? Mike O'Hara from the Colorado search and rescue. We think we've found your partner. Bring a jacket, and a flashlight. It's four am here."

"I'll be right with you." Not wasting time with the stairs, she teleported to her front hall, found her jacket and knapsack and reconnected with Mike. What she saw destroyed all pretense at professionalism. "Oh God. Nick."

"It's the right bus?" Mike confirmed, wisely holding onto her arm, because she was a moment away from teleporting in and hauling Nick out bodily.

"I can't..." even from a few metres away she had no sense of his presence.

"Lina." The raw pain of Mike's open-handed slap brought her back from the edge of hysterics. He took her shoulders, forcing her to look away from the burning wreckage and face him. "Lina you're the best we've got, and you're *his* best chance of getting out of this alive, but I'm not going to surrender my authority to you if you're going to lose it."

"I..." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The smell of burning metal shook her to the core. Nick was in there. "It's the right bus. I'll get him out."


	5. Chapter 5

Mindi stopped just before they reached the group of people around Brian. She turned to A.J. "Try your best to stay calm. It's really hard to deal with non-psychics, so everyone here is wide open, trying their best to stay in contact with Brian. If you start freaking out, you'll mess them all up."

A.J. swallowed then nodded. "Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm," he chanted mentally. A few people moved out of their way, and he stepped closer.

Brian was a mess. He looked worse than he'd ever looked in hospital for his heart surgery. Then he'd looked pale, a little bloated, hooked up to several monitors. Scary, but controlled. Now, he was just as pale, but nowhere near as neat and clean. Worse, he was peppered with bruises, and there was dark blood all over the t-shirt and boxers he'd been wearing in his bunk.

A.J. felt Mindi's hand on his shoulder. He gulped. Staying calm was even harder than he'd thought it would be.

"Bone?" The voice was whispery but it was definitely Brian speaking.

"I'm here, bro." A.J. reassured him.

"It doesn't hurt. It looks real bad, and I'm terrified and all... but it don't hurt." He sounded confused by this. "What's..." he paused to cough. "What's goin' on?"

"They're gonna take care of you, B-rok." Mindi supplied gently. "I know it's a little weird, but these guys are gonna get you back in shape, k?"

"Where's Nick? I... I thought I heard him, once." Brian's features twisted in worry. "He's ok, right?"

Mindi turned away quickly, and A.J. had to fight to control his panic. "He's... he's helping the others."

"Can you... I wanna see him." A.J. bit his lip, having no clue what to answer.

Nick supplied an answer for both of them. His voice rang in both their minds. "I'm here Frick, just like I said. Don't worry about me. Just concentrate on getting better."

"O...k." Brian sounded sleepy. Someone put a hand on his forehead, and his eyelids fluttered closed. Before A.J. had time to worry, Mindi hauled him away.

"He's asleep," she explained brusquely, still walking. "It's hell of a lot easier dealing with non-psychics when they're dreaming. Less barriers."

"Honestly, Lina." Nick's voice sounded again, a little tired, but teasing. "What kind of rescue mission is this, you can't even get one guy to sleep without my help?"

"Nick?" A.J. said to the air, hoping Nick could hear him. "You okay?"

"I'm more worried about D. I could use a hand, bro."

"Me???"

"Yeah you." He found himself face to face with the woman Mindi had identified as Lina. "Have a seat."

"I can explain to him, Lina."

"Bite me, Nick. Try working on Kevin for a few minutes. It's less a waste of your time. I want you *out* of there." It was very weird hearing her speak without seeing her lips move. Lina seemed to realise this and switched back to vocalising.

"Short version, Alex. Nick's having trouble getting Howie to wake up. If we can't wake him, it becomes about fifty times harder to get him out. Nick needs you to provide some outside stimulus."

"Uh huh." he stared at her, totally lost.

"Tell me when you start understanding something," she told him, sounding a little bitter. Mindi shot her a look. "Sorry. I'm... I don't have a lot of patience right now." She pushed her glasses up a little. "Ok. Nick's what we call a conduit. He's really good at connecting things; channelling energies, connecting a psychic to a non-psychic, connecting a non-psychic to an unconscious non-psychic."

"Me and Howie?"

Lina nodded. "Right. Basically, he's going to see if he can get Howie to hear you. He wants you to sing, or something."

"He's closer... why can't he..." The look on Lina's face told him he didn't want to know the answer, but he finished the question anyway. "Why can't he sing, or.. shake him or something?"

"He can't move." She closed her eyes, "As far as we can tell he's losing blood, he's in a lot of pain... and we think his spinal cord is damaged. He's fine, mentally, but physically... A.J. just do it. I need him out of there, but he won't leave until everyone else is safe."

A.J. collapsed into the chair Lina had offered him earlier. "If he's... he's awake. They're not. How bad..."

"The fact that he's conscious means nothing, except there's no brain damage. Other than the bus driver, who's dead, he's the worst off. Even the fact he can't wake Howie might have more to do with his own lack of energy than Howie's condition." Her tone was brisk and professional but tears were running freely down Lina's cheeks. "I'm feeding him all the energy I can, but there's a limit..."

"NICK!" A.J. roared.

"No need to yell, Bone. I hear ya."

"Nick, get your ass out of there."

"No. Now, hang on while I try D again."


	6. Chapter 6

Nick tried to sigh but even that was taking just too much effort now. The pain was almost gone, replaced by a heavy numbness over most of his body. His right arm was the notable exception; whenever he bothered to focus on it, shooting pain almost drove him right back into unconsciousness.

Howie was still alive, he simply wasn't responding. After concentrated effort Nick had figured out what was wrong; Howie wasn't just scared, he was confused. The unfamiliar sensation of telepathy made him shrink away from Nick instead of reaching out towards him. Mind-to-mind just wasn't going to work here. This meant extra effort. Fortunately, with Brian asleep the crew outside had been able to block his pain directly, freeing Nick's energy for other things.

"My energy. What a joke." he drew a ragged breath. By this point he was leaning heavily on Lina's resources. Those were massive, but there was only so much she could dole out at one time.

Deciding he was wasting time by dwelling on things, Nick slowly, gently reached out for Howie's subconscious once again. Instead of making any overt advances, he settled for a connection, a bridge between the outside world and Howie's psyche. He stretched out the bridge on the other end, connecting with A.J. "All right man, sing."

"What should I sing?"

"Do I have to do *everything*?" he needled, hoping that A.J. wouldn't realise that he hadn't the strength to hold the connection and search his memory simultaneously. In the back of his mind, he could just sense Lina waiting for the right moment to 'send in' the teleports.

"Ok ok. Here goes."

Everyone within hearing range winced as A.J. launched into a loud, obnoxious, off-key version of Prince's "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World". Nick didn't actually need to be psychic to hear it. He silently congratulated his groupmate on the choice. It had been Howie's solo song on some of their early tours. Two lines into it Nick could already feel Howie's annoyance.

"That's right D," he thought to himself. "He's an annoying bastard. It's your range, not his. Wake up and get him to shut the fuck up."

* * *

"...I will cry tears of joy cause after you all one can do is die" A.J. was making his own ears hurt, but he kept on. _C'mon D. You know you wanna slam me with a pillow._ "Could you be..." There was a whoosh of air off to his right.

"Bone?"

"Yes Nicky?"

"SHUT UP!" The laughter and relief in Nick's tone was intoxicating.

Letting out a whoop, A.J. dashed towards the small group of psychics, from which he could actually hear Howie.

"Where is he? Alexander James McLean get over here and let me kick your ass!"

"Yeah right." he was grinning like an idiot, but he didn't care. Howie was out. He was gonna be okay. He looked pretty pale and had an ugly gash going up one leg but other than that... "Howie doin'?"

The old joke made Howie smile in return. "You're stealing all my lines tonight, Bone." He finally seemed to look around and take stock of the situation. "What's goin' on? This ain't a hospital."

"You think you need one?"

"He needs to lie down, get some sleep and let us work on those broken ribs of his before he punctures a lung," one of the psychics responded. A.J. nodded.

"You heard the lady. Be a good patient. Explanations later."

"Is everybody else..." there was another whoosh of air and A.J. grinned again.

"Brian's doin' ok, Kevin's here... just you worry 'bout you, man."

"Yes sir..." Howie yawned and fell asleep.

"Thanks." The girl who had spoken earlier said quietly. "He's one of those people that gets scared by psychic energy. You made a good distraction."

"Anytime. That was Kevin arriving, wasn't it?"

"Uh huh. Go on over."


	7. Chapter 7

Mindi and Brian beat him to it. Brian was looking a lot better, if still disheveled and limping a little. Mindi waved as A.J. moved closer.

"This is a total nightmare, cuz." Kevin was saying to Brian. "The world's gone crazy."

"It's definitely weird," Brian agreed. "But all the weird stuff seems to be for the good. I was a lot more busted-up than this when they got me out."

"Ambulance, cops, the whole deal are on their way." Mindi reported, "Anyone not an EMT, or part of the fire brigade, is getting ready to pull out."

"How do you know that?" Kevin inquired.

"She's psychic." Brian and A.J. chorused.

"Like I said." Kevin shook his head, "World's gone crazy."

"Mr. Richardson, if you'd just lie back and relax you can deal with a crazy world with a hairline fracture in that leg of yours instead of with torn ligaments and the compound break you've got now."

Kevin raised an eyebrow but when his friends all nodded at him, he shrugged and lay back on the stretcher.

"What d'you think they're doing now?" Brian asked A.J.

"Cover-up?" A.J. guessed, watching various people vanish, and the ground begin to alter itself around the bus's track down to the tree.

Mindi interrupted them. "Guys, don't get upset."

"Oh God." Brian went pale again.

"Hang in there Bri." A.J. hugged him. "We gotta keep it together. What is it Mindi?"

"They're gonna start cutting Nick out."

"CUTTING HIM..." A.J. shoved a hand over Brian's mouth and stared straight in his eyes.

"B-rok there is all the time in the world to freak out later. Believe me, I intend to have a total nervous breakdown when this is all over." He prayed for the right words to get Brian to understand. "But you gotta be strong. The best way to help Nicky is to stay calm. I'm gonna take my hand away now... I want you to take a deep breath, and calm the fuck down."

"Pray, if you'd like." Mindi put in.

Slowly, A.J. took his hand away. Brian stared at him for a moment, then took a long, shuddering breath, and let it out. He folded his hands, bowed his head, and started to pray. A faint tendril of thought brushed Mindi's mind and she relayed it to A.J. "He says thanks, Alex."

A.J. bit his lip at this further indication of Nick's weakness. Mindi saw the worry in his eyes, and hugged him. "He'll be all right. We just don't have much time left. The 'real' emergency crews are on their way. There's not enough time to heal him all the way, so the telekinetics are gonna open up the bus... can't go with the same 'thrown from the bus' story they'll tell about the rest of them."

"How are you so calm, Mins?" he whispered.

"Long-practiced repression." she whispered back. "I'll be joining you in that nervous breakdown later today."

The sound of metal tearing made him wince.

"Promise?"

"Oh yeah."

A.J. glanced over at the bus wreck, looking away quickly as he saw the metal pucker and tear further. It was just too ghastly. His eyes came to rest on Lina. She was sitting on the ground, cross-legged, leaning against her chair. He wondered if she was one of the telekinetic crew - her eyes were certainly boring holes in the bus. Her face was pale and tear-streaked, if otherwise the calm mask that most of the psychics assumed. Somehow, to A.J. this made her look even more worried.

"How's Lina?" he asked abruptly.

Mindi looked over her shoulder at Nick's partner. "How would you be if someone you'd known nine years was trapped in a bus?" she asked wryly. A.J. understood. Lina was in the same position as he was. Worse, because she knew every single detail of what was going on inside. She said she was feeding Nick energy; could she feel him slipping away?

"What happens to her at the end of the day?" he asked quietly, full of compassion. "When the ambulances and fire trucks and police cars get here... what then?"

"She might hang around to keep Nick in one piece - more likely I'll get to play doctor with him and she'll go home to bed."

"Where's home?" As he waited for the answer, watching Lina, she began to shake. Without a word, Mindi was racing towards her, with three or four others. A.J. put a hand on Brian's shoulder, which turned into a hug.

"He has to get out of this." Brian insisted quietly. "They have to get him out of this! What's taking so long?"

"I don't..." Mindi's thought hit him like a shockwave.

"SING! For the love of God Alex, sing!"

Forcing himself not to think about what this meant, A.J. opened his mouth and let out with the first song he could think of.

"On the first day, that I saw your smilin' face

 

Honey I knew that we would be together for ever."

Brian looked at him as if he'd lost it, but joined in.

"When I asked you out, you said no, but I found out

 

Darlin' that you'd been hurt, you thought that you'd never love again.

 

But I deserve a try honey, just once, give me a chance and I prove this all wrong"

 

"You walked in you were so quick to judge, but honey he's nothing like me"

Kevin's voice joined theirs as they moved to the chorus.

"I'll never break your heart, I'll never make you cry..."


	8. Chapter 8

Getting Kevin out should have been easy. He was the least hurt, although he'd been thrown from his bunk and was on the floor no, ceiling, Nick reminded himself. A.J.'s singing had woken him right up, so he was fully conscious and all Nick had to do was act as a link to the outside teleports. Somehow though, it had been just too much. For the first time, he bothered to open his eyes... the world swam before him. Breathing hadn't been the easiest for a while, either.

His sense of Brian's presence suddenly flared. Something was wrong. Brian was scared. He tried to reach out and reassure him. "Bri? Brian?" The effort was draining, and Brian's mind just wasn't open enough. He was calming down though. Someone else was there for him. "Mindi? Thank whoever for taking care of Brian."

The wall next to him began to buckle - he could hear the aluminum begin to tear. Good; they were cutting him out. He wouldn't have to do anything. Wasn't sure he could anymore.

"Nicky?" Lina's worried tones sounded far-away. He toyed with the notion of answering her. Too much effort, he decided. Much easier to just lie here and go back to sleep. His eyes closed.

"Nickolas!" she called again, barely audible. What did she want? Couldn't be important; the guys were safe. He ignored her and began to drift off to his safe place, away from the real world. The connection between them fell away.

* * *

"I'm losing him! I'm LOSING HIM!" Lina meant to ask for more power but it came out in a panicked broadcast. The end result was the same though. Energy surged into her from various sources, giving her enough to dive right into Nick's sub-subconscious, the place he'd retreated to. "Nicky don't you DARE leave me."

He could hear her, she knew he could. Realising it wasn't just lack of strength, it was lack of will which kept him from responding, she bit back a sob and slapped him around with her own energy. "Wake up, dammit. Wake up so I can rip you the hell out of this bus."

The only response was a slight feeling of further retreat. "You can't leave me alone, Nick." she pleaded. "Don't you care? Don't you care about anything?" Even as she said it, she knew what the answer was. He didn't care what he was doing to her, but she knew who he cared about. Lina freed up a little energy and nudged Mindi. Soon, the voices of the Backstreet Boys filtered in to her.

"What about them? You saved their lives just to destroy them? You're going to kill their careers, break their hearts, because you're TIRED?" That got a reaction. A tiny one, but a reaction nonetheless. Just enough for Lina to pounce on, enhance, and hope to God the teleports could lock on to. She supplied all the other information, and held on tight

If it had been anyone but Lina holding on to him, the teleportation wouldn't have worked. As it was, all eight of the psychics still in the area, including Mindi, had to pull hard to bring Nick out. He was still unconscious when they succeeded. The paramedics looked at each other helplessly. Without some indication of consciousness there really wasn't anything they could do.

Ambulance and fire truck sirens wailed in the distance; time was running out. Lina was nearly unconscious. As head of search and rescue, Mike stepped in. Deciding the non-psychics needed to know what was going on, he barked his instructions out loud.   
"Somebody get Fred to send us blood from his ambulance, and try your darndest to fix Carter's spine."

"Howie's awake? Ok just keep him on that stretcher. Brian, Kevin, I need you on your stretchers too. One ambulance is ahead of the pack, driven by one of us. We're gonna pretend the EMTs here came with that one and are just dealing with you now. Abair? Wake up the other bus, give them some idea of what's going on. Alex, you can stay down here, you found them, you're their friend... you're trying to help out and stay out of the way."

"Marge? You on the fire truck up there? Send us down the jaws of life. All right people let's go! The Backstreet Boys just had a lucky escape, let's make it look real!"

Kevin tried to protest, but A.J. and one of the psychics, a big, burly guy, pinned him down and strapped him into the stretcher. "Later, bro." A.J. insisted.

"If he says anything they'll think he's in shock. Which he is." he was assured. Seconds later the first ambulance and fire truck arrived, quickly followed by two more ambulances, a second fire truck, and a police cruiser. Finally, lights and sound were everywhere, and things moved quickly. A.J. was bundled into an ambulance with Howie, partly to keep everyone together, partly because the paramedics suspected A.J. was in shock himself. Mindi managed to swindle her way onto the ambulance dealing with Nick.

"The noise and everything's waking him up a little." Mindi relayed as they moved off towards the hospital. "I should be able to get it down to a case of whiplash with some luck. Thank God diagnosis of a broken neck takes a little time."


	9. Chapter 9

Sitting in Kevin and Howie's room several hours later, A.J. had been given a clean bill of health but still wasn't sure the time had come when he could safely have that nervous breakdown he'd been promising himself. Four of the five Backstreet Boys had assembled in the room, feeling the need to have some kind of group meeting, but none of them seemed to have the faintest idea what to say. Nick was on everyone's mind. He was still in the ICU, and was expected to stay there until he woke up. From the look on Mindi's face A.J. knew it wasn't going to be anytime soon.

Kevin was sitting on top of his bed, staring at the walking cast he'd been given. He wasn't too badly off; apart from the bruises they all had and the hairline fracture in his leg, the only reason he was still checked in was a concussion. Howie was in the same boat, if maybe a little more disoriented. Instead of a broken leg, he had a couple of cracked and bruised ribs. The gash A.J. had seen earlier on his calf had been stitched up nicely. He'd been tucked into bed and instructed not to move too much until his ribs had healed.

Brian was sitting just inside the doorway, playing with the armrest of his wheelchair. No concussion, because he'd hit his head hard enough to draw blood and require stitches, ergo relieving the pressure,but the hospital staff had still gone nuts over the fact that he was a heart patient. They were keeping an eye on him, giving him a private room away from Howie and Kevin so that he could have some quiet, and not allowing him to go anywhere without the wheelchair. He'd lost quite a bit of blood too and was still a little weak.

Having heard their various diagnoses, A.J. couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if Nick's friends hadn't been around. They had obviously healed everyone to a state where each of them had been told how lucky they were, but all had recognisably just come out of an accident. No miracles. He supposed it was safer.

It was he who finally broke the silence. "No offense, you guys, but I wish Nick wasn't such a stubborn ass."

"Huh?" was Howie's reaction. Kevin glowered silently.

"That's our Frack." Brian replied quietly. "Every now and then he shows us how much he really does love us."

"I know I was knocked silly," Howie interrupted, "but what the hell?"

"I'm not sure myself." Brian told him, "But I have this feeling like...like Nick got me out of that bus."

"Nick? The Nick who's currently comatose in the ICU?"

"Sounds dumb, huh?"

"What do you guys actually remember of the accident and shit?" A.J. wondered, wondering further how much he was supposed to tell them. Unfortunately, no telepathic answers were forthcoming from anywhere.

"I headed straight for my bunk when we left the hotel." Brian shrugged. "Next thing I remember... it was dark. I was still sort of half-asleep. I knew something really bad had happened and I was real scared. I knew if I woke up I'd hurt a lot....Um... this is where it gets weird."

"Go on." A.J. prodded, watching Kevin start to study the wall intently.

"Nick was with me. In my head. He kept telling me that it was okay, that he'd take care of me... that I had to wake up. I woke up...and I was on a stretcher. You were there, Bone."

"Uh huh." Brian seemed pleased by this confirmation.

"A lot of weird shit happened then. Like.. I wasn't hurtin', but I knew I shoulda been. Nick was still in my head for a while. I went to sleep, and woke up a lot less messed up than I was. And Mindi was there."

"Skip Mindi for just now. What about you, D?"

Howie had been staring at Brian, openmouthed. "Uh... I don't remember anything like that."

"So... tell me what you do remember."

"Ummm..." he thought hard. "Not much. I was only sort of half-asleep when the bus swerved and I started bouncing around in my bunk. I hit my head, I guess. Next thing I remember, *you*" he looked accusingly at A.J., "were singing my Prince song... I've never heard you sound that wack."

"Hey!" A.J. protested, grinning. "You needed to wake up. Did the trick, didn't it?"

"Yeah well next.. um.. stretcher, like Brian said. Somebody said something about a punctured lung? Anyway I was out again until they started loading me into the ambulance."

"That explains a lot."

"Are we ever gonna get that explanation you promised me?" Brian asked.

"I dunno how much I'm allowed to tell. And there's a lot Nicky-boy has got to tell all of us."

Howie ignored most of this exchange, still sorting things out for himself. He turned to Kevin. "What about you, Kev? What do you remember?"

Kevin sighed heavily, and glared at A.J. before he finally began to speak. "I dunno, man. I think I was kinda hallucinating or something. It was a terrible experience, I think it fucked with my mind a little."

"That's not what he asked." A.J. prodded. For some reason it had become incredibly important to him that Kevin acknowledge what had happened beyond the accident itself. "Tell us what you remember, Train."

"I... not much." The expectant silence stretched for a good minute before he continued. "I dropped off after Bri, but before Nick or Howie. I woke up for a second when I went flying out of my bunk - forgot to draw the curtains, I guess. Once I hit the floor I knocked myself out. Next thing I remember is... Bone, swear to me you'll NEVER sing that again."

They all chuckled. "It's unanimous, then." A.J. grinned as Brian nodded vigorously. "Nick yelled at me to shut up the second he got Howie out."

"He would." Brian agreed, ignoring the silence from the other two. Realising what he'd said, A.J. sent "thank-you"s to him with his eyes.

"Sorry Kev. Go on?"

"Ah.... " the older man shrugged. "I woke up on the... I guess I was lying on the ceiling. I heard the sound of air rushing... then I thought I was alone in the bus. I must have called out. Nick..." he stopped, then continued in a firm voice.. "I was hallucinating. Next thing I remember clearly is being out on the stretcher."

That was it. A.J. telegraphed his frustration to Brian, who just shook his head and shrugged helplessly. Kevin wasn't going to acknowledge anything... for now.


	10. Chapter 10

A.J. pushed Brian down the hall to his own room, lost in thought. The total weirdness of the whole experience was beginning to dawn on him, as were the long-term implications. Nick was psychic. He'd been hiding it all the time he'd been in the group. He knew other psychics. He'd been on rescue missions with other psychics. "I'll bet he has a whole double life." he remarked aloud.

"Hmmm." Brian agreed. A.J.'s attention immediately snapped back to his friend.

"You okay bro?"

"Yeah," was the absent-minded reply.

"Rok, I'm gonna call a nurse if you don't say something with more than one syllable."

"Huh?" Brian started. "Oh. Sorry. I was just thinkin'."

"Not too hard now, we don't want you popping any stitches." A.J. kidded. He opened the door to Brian's room and let him roll in under his own power. Once the door was shut behind them, he asked quietly. "Thinking 'bout Nick?"

Brian stared unseeing at his hospital bed. "I kind of wish I could be like Kevin... convince myself I imagined it all."

"I'm glad you're not. Only person I'd have to talk about it with would be Mindi...and she knows what she's talking about. Nice to have someone confused with me."

"Confused..." Brian considered this. "Yeah but maybe over different things."

"Huh?" A.J. moved to sit on the bed, facing Brian. "Like what?"

"Why didn't he tell me?" Brian's blue eyes were filled with hurt and guilt."I thought we told each other everything. Was he so scared about how I would react?"

"I dunno, Bri. Probably only Nick can tell you that."

"Y'know, when I felt him... I *did* feel him..."

"Mindi told me Nick was getting y'all out, and that you were first on the list." A.J. assured him. "It happened, bro. No matter how weird it was it happened and we gotta deal with that."

Brian's face cleared a little. "Is Mindi still here?"

* * *

Two floors down, Mindi felt the question in the back of her mind. She paused before the elevator and reached out for A.J. "Someone's thinking about me."

"Brian." The echoey tone of his thought told her he was verbalizing. "Why didn't you just think to him?"

"You're easiest." She neglected to mention the throbbing headache and exhaustion that were becoming hard to ignore. "What's he want?"

"Basically wants the two of us to sit down with him and tell him about the rescue."

"Just Brian?" How many times were they going to expect the story? "I'm pretty tired right now Alex... I was keeping an 'eye' on Nick, but someone else took over for me."

"Lina?"

"No." She held her breath, hoping he wouldn't ask questions she couldn't answer, but he stayed silent. "Does it have to be now?"

"I... dunno about Brian, but if it's not now, I'm..." suddenly his mental voice became strong and true - he didn't want Brian to hear this. _I'm gonna go insane, Mins. Just once over the whole thing and then I'm gonna have that breakdown._

A wave of sympathy filled her. She wasn't the only one shoved into an unfamiliar role. A.J. was a great guy, but he wasn't usually the leader or the one the members of the group leaned on. He'd been holding it together like a trouper for hours, and was obviously very near his limit. They both needed some time off.

"All right." Decisively, Mindi hit the 'up' button on the elevator. "I'll be right up, then both of us had better get back to the hotel."

When she got to the Boys' floor, the nurse at the station pointed her to Brian's room. The door was closed, another token of A.J.'s uncharacteristic behaviour. Even as she knocked the door, she could feel his stress. And she wasn't good with non-psychics at all.

"Come in." Brian called. The first thing that hit Mindi on entering the room was the fact that it was just the two of them. The next was the very sober looks on both men's faces. To his credit A.J. didn't look quite as bad as she knew he felt, just worried. Brian looked... guilty?

"God, Mindi you look tired. Come sit down," were the first words out of Brian's mouth. A.J. patted a space on the bed beside him. She didn't argue, in fact she would have probably agreed if they had insisted she take a nap on the bed.

"Stupid boy bands keeping a person up all night and making her babysit them." she grumbled as she pulled herself up onto the bed. A.J. put an arm around her shoulders, hugging her.

"We'll look into the going rate for sleep-deprivation pay." Brian teased. They all laughed and the tension lessened a bit, which was what Mindi had been going for. "Now that Nick won't have to bribe you to keep quiet about him anymore, you'll need to find other ways to get your spending money."

"Damn, I hadn't thought of that," she played along. smiling.

"How is he? They won't let me see him." A.J. asked.

"Better than they think he is," she reassured them. "From what I can tell he mainly needs to recharge. Now that he's not bleeding, everyone's safe, and he doesn't have to use energy to do anything, that shouldn't take more than a day."

"A day??" Brian's guilt was getting heavier. She could feel it as well as see it.

"Yeah. They may start yelling coma, but don't worry until one of us tells you to start." She felt A.J.'s eyes on her, but was too tired to deal with the worry she could have given them by telling the whole truth. Showing remarkable sensitivity for him, A.J. changed the topic a little.

"So... B-rok wants to hear what happened."

"Shouldn't we tell everyone at once?" Mindi wondered. "It's a long story, and I'm pretty sure Nick decided you should all know everything."

The look in his eyes told her everything. She'd seen that look on the faces of so many psychics who had chosen to tell someone and been rejected. Kids out on the street, a woman or man left at the altar, people learning that love and trust weren't always unconditional. More than ever her heart went out to Nick. If he had to face that while still recovering... She shook her head.

"I'm glad he's got both of you." Then, quietly, she and A.J. began to tell Brian exactly what had happened that morning.


	11. Chapter 11

Howie was still puzzling over the things he'd been told. The doctor had told him that he'd been thrown from the bus, that it was natural to not remember everything leading up to a traumatic experience. He certainly didn't remember leaving his bunk. How could he have gone out a window without leaving his bunk? Of course the idea that he simply forgot getting up made a lot more sense than Brian's story.

The problem was that a little voice inside him told him that Brian was right. That Nick, his condition notwithstanding, had gotten him out of the bus. The things that implied made his head hurt even more. The guy they all looked at as their kid brother, the gangly klutz, complete space cadet... was some kind of superhero? He'd had enough happen to him today, accepting that idea would have to wait for tomorrow at least.

Seeking a diversion he turned his attention to Kevin, who was lying back against his pillows, his eyes closed. Howie wadded up a paper cup sitting on his tray and bounced it off his roommate's nose. Kevin's eyes flew open.

"What?" he growled.

"You want me to get a nurse, Kev? You know we're not supposed to sleep."

"I was just thinking."

"Yeah, well do it with your eyes open!"

* * *

Brian blinked at the empty space where A.J. and Mindi had been seconds before. "Is my life ever going to settle down and get normal, Lord?" The room remained silent. "No, huh? Well I guess I'd better start dealing with this new twist You've thrown at me."

He made his way out of the room and down the hall to the nurses' station.

"Hi Brian!" a young male RN greeted him. "Still not sleepy? I'd have thought you'd be completely out of it now. Howie just rang and asked for a radio to keep them up."

Brian shook his head. "Naw. I was wondering if I could go see Nick?"

The other man grew sober. "I dunno, man. It is visiting hours but it's the ICU. And his family haven't seen him yet."

"His family are scattered all over the world right now." Brian pointed out. "Leslie and Bob are flying in from Canada tonight, Aaron, Angel and Jane are coming from Germany, B.J.'s stuck in Florida worried sick. I'm his best friend."

"I know," the nurse went a little red. "You think I had to look your name up on the chart, B-rok?" Brian suppressed a groan. "Don't worry, I'm working now. I won't be asking for your autograph or anything... until my coffee break!"

Until that moment Brian had completely forgotten about the fans. He had talked to his parents, to Leighanne and to B.J. Carter... but for some reason he had stopped feeling like a Backstreet Boy for the first time since they'd hit the road. "I guess this is a dumb question.. but is it on the news?"

"You had to cancel tonight's show. Of course it's in the news. They've tripled security at the doors, and your bodyguards are on their way over and.."

"Reality rears its ugly head." Brian shook his head. "We've got so much else to deal with... I wish they could be happy lovin' us from afar."

"The fans have been pretty good so far," he was informed. "The media...When I got in for work today I'd been offered three bribes and had to shove a cameraman out of my way."

"Dammit. They're causing problems?"

"Uh huh."

"All right. Get me a phone. I'll handle it. Then will you let me see Nick?"

"Fifteen minutes tops."

"Deal."

The nurse handed Brian the phone.

* * *

Ten minutes later, after a long talk with the PR people at The Firm, Brian was being wheeled into the elevator. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Hospitals were his least favourite place on earth, and there was no doubt he wasn't going to like what he saw. "You all right?" the nurse whose name was Roger asked him.

"I'll live."

"That was a pretty good idea, that threat."

"That was no threat." Brian returned. "I just hope it works." He had talked to the hospital's security department, asking that they get the names and positions of any troublemakers, then called The Firm. They were now issuing a statement saying that the Backstreet Boys would hold a press conference when they were ready, but that any and all media outlets which continued to stake out the hospital would be barred access. Additionally, anyone publishing pictures taken outside the hospital wouldn't be given any access to the band for the next year.

"I'm sure it will." Roger wheeled Brian out into the ICU waiting room. "Sure you're ready for this?"

"Ready as I'm gonna be."

"All right. I'll get them to let you in. When you're done, just get any of the nurses to call up. I'll come get you."

"What? I can't wheel myself into an elevator?"

"You're a heart patient Brian, and you've been in an accident. In this hospital that means you've got 'made of glass' stamped on your forehead," Roger told him. "Besides, we can't have any stray fans abducting you, now can we?"

"Guess not." After waiting for the ICU nurses to buzz him in, Brian headed for Nick's bedside.


	12. Chapter 12

A.J. dropped his bag to the floor and collapsed onto the bed of his hotel room. Mindi had teleported the two of them out of the hospital, avoiding the hordes outside the hospital, if not totally bypassing the fans still at the hotel. A few "A.J. McLean is an asshole" rumours were sure to be circulating around the internet soon - he had basically ignored everyone, been short with the woman at the check-in counter, and fled to his room.

Now he took a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling. Everyone was leaning on him, expecting him to stay calm, to have the right answers, to get them all through this. He glanced at the phone, briefly considering calling his Mum. Quickly, he dismissed the thought. He had never been good at lying to her and he couldn't tell her the whole truth - this was one time he'd have to go it alone. The very idea made him groan. Why was it that the one time everyone was leaning on him, he had no one to hold him up?

A.J. McLean had never felt so alone in his life. Since the beginning of the Backstreet Boys it had always been the five of them against the world. They had overcome some rough obstacles together. Usually with one of them hurt, they would simply become closer. Nick's decision to reveal his secret had changed all that. Kevin was clearly angry, Howie was confused, and a little in denial... Brian was taking it well, except for the inexplicable guilt, but he was one of the walking wounded himself. With Nick unconscious and unable to explain himself, A.J. was the one who would have to pull the others together.

"Dammit, Nick... why me?" he demanded. "Why couldn't you have just put me to sleep like the band? I wouldn't have to deal with all this. At worst, I'd be the one visiting the hospital, cheering people up." He covered his face with his hands.

Immediately he was assaulted with images. The bus as he had first seen it, Brian on the stretcher, Lina shaking, Nick on his stretcher, looking like death. All the fear, confusion, helplessness he had been pushing down since Mindi told him he was needed suddenly surfaced. A.J. curled himself up in a ball and cried.

* * *

Brian sat staring at Nick, tears running down his cheeks. Surrounded by machines, with IVs and electrodes coming out from everywhere, a neck brace, restraints over his arms and legs, and an oxygen mask over his mouth, his best friend looked barely human. He was white as chalk, making the bruises Brian could see even more scary-looking in contrast. "I'm sorry Frack. I'm so, so sorry."

"Hey." An older woman materialised on the opposite side of Nick's bed. "Feeling guilty isn't going to help him get any better."

"Who...?" Brian began.

"You can call me Suzanne. I took over from Mindi. "

"Have you been here the whole time?"

"Since she called for a replacement." Suzanne nodded. "He won't be alone. We'll rotate."

"He looks terrible."

"Don't worry about what he looks like. Outside will heal faster than you'd think. " she shrugged. "Always does."

"Always?"

"I'm a doctor," she smiled. "I've seen lots of terrible accidents. When you see them like this, it always looks as if they'll take years to heal. That arm there," she gestured. "He did a number on *that*. He'll have it in a sling for a few weeks, then physical therapy. But physically, that's the worst."

"What about his back? They've got him in a brace!"

"Standard procedure. The EMTs suspected spinal trauma, and it'll be a while until the swelling on the spine goes down enough to figure out how bad it is."

"And?"

"He'll be fine. By the time he wakes up and they can do tests, he'll be just fine." Her motherly tone was reassuring. Then piercing brown eyes met his, "But you still feel guilty."

Brian nodded.

"Why? It was an accident, you were asleep. What could you have possibly done?"

"He could have gotten out faster." Brian whispered around the lump in his throat. "If it wasn't for.." He choked back a sob. "He loves me so much. I remember feeling that when he was in my head. He wouldn't leave."

"Would you have left, if it had been the other way around?" she asked gently.

"No!"

"Well then?"

"I don't think he knows that." Brian blinked back tears.

"Nick? I'm sure he does. I can feel it from here, and it's Nick's talent to be able to recieve from non-psychics. He'd have to be empathically deaf to miss it."

"Then why... Why couldn't he tell me?"

"Why couldn't he... oh love." Suzanne smiled, "If only every non-psychic reacted that way to being told. Brian, we all have our reasons. If it helps any, my twin brother doesn't know about me."

"He doesn't?"

"Nope. He'd probably deal with it beautifully, if I ever needed to tell him, mind you." She sighed, "But my life is complicated. Letting him know wouldn't make it any easier on me, and it would just give him more to worry about."

"Oh." Brian thought about this for a long while. When he looked up again, Suzanne was nowhere to be seen. "Thanks," he told empty air. Then he put his hand on Nick's foot, the nearest thing not connected to too much. "Hey, bro. Just lettin' you know I'm here pulling for you. You wake up when you're ready, you hear? I gotta thank you properly for savin' my ass. The whole... what happened, is weird, but we'll talk about that when you wake up too."


	13. Chapter 13

"D!" The sharp exclamation jolted Howie back from the edge of sleep. He blinked, and found Kevin looking down at him. "Don't scare me like that, man," he lectured, black brows drawn in disapproval. "I thought it was you keeping *me* awake."

"It's a tiring job, Kev." Howie joked. "How many hours has it been?"

"Not twelve yet, forget about twenty-four. Wonder if they'll let us have coffee?"

"Dunno. Why don't you try out those crutches of yours and ask?"

"Promise no napping?"

"Kevin, you'll be gone two seconds." The only response Howie got was a stern glare. "Fine, Dad. I promise."

Kevin swung his way out to the nurses' station. The one woman on duty turned to him inquiringly. "Yes?"

"I'm one of the concussion patients in 340. Could we maybe get some coffee to help keep us awake?"

She shook her head briskly. "Absolutely not. You're from the accident this morning, correct?" He nodded, wincing a little at the result. "Juice and water are all you're allowed. No stimulants."

Kevin sighed, but made no protest. "Something to eat instead? Or something to do? We're getting tired of sitting around."

"I could have one of our volunteers bring you around a few games," she conceded.

"If you check Mr Richardson's chart, you'll see his room is off-limits to candy-stripers, ma'am." Kev turned towards the new voice. A man in a nurse uniform stood behind Brian's wheelchair. He waved. "Hi, I'm Roger."

"Bored, cuz?" Brian asked, sounding almost cheerful. "Want me to entertain you?"

"No jokes, Brian." Roger warned. "Howie's ribs can't take that kind of punishment."

"Yes, sir." Brian gave a mock salute. "C'mon Kev."

"I'll see if I can get some kind of snack for you." Roger suggested to their retreating backs. At his supervisor's disapproving look he shrugged. "They had lunch, but they skipped breakfast."

"So where were you?" Kevin asked his cousin as they re-entered his room.

"Visiting Nick."

"Is he awake?" Howie demanded eagerly.

"Not yet. Mindi said maybe a day."

"Mindi's not a doctor." Kevin objected.

"I know cuz." Brian decided to ignore Kevin's attitude for a while. "Any room on your bed there, D? I'm gettin' mighty tired of sitting in this chair."

"Maybe we could switch? Playing around in that thing should keep me awake for a little longer."

"Sounds like an idea. Why don't you ring for Roger - it's harder climbin' in and out of this than it looks and we don't want you undoing all of Nick's friends' good work."

"Bri..." Kevin began in a warning tone.

"Shut up Train," was the mild reply.

Howie rolled his eyes and rang for a nurse.

* * *

Once they had switched places and the two cousins had watched Howie play around with his new toy for a while, Brian brought everyone back to a more serious level. "Guys, I know you don't want to talk about this, but I think we owe it to Nick to deal with things before he wakes up."

"We owe Nick?" Kevin demanded. "Don't you mean he owes us? Doesn't he owe us an apology for lying to us for the past nine years?"

"Kevin..." Howie started.

"No. We were in a really bad accident. I'm going to be in this cast for three weeks. You're not going to be able to move without pain for even longer. Instead of being able to deal with that, we woke up to find ourselves in the middle of some secret rescue mission, where we were forced to lie about everything that went on. I have to sit here trying to wrap my head around things man was not meant to ever deal with, because Nick never told us the truth."

"Kevin, you're yelling." Howie pointed out.

"Damn right, I'm yelling. Fuck their stupid secrecy."

"If the nursing staff comes in right now they're gonna put you in restraints and cart you off to the funny farm," he continued calmly. "Haven't thought about that yet? You should. That's what this all sounds like. The only reason I'm not calling to get them to cart you away myself, is because A.J. seems to believe the both of you."

"Thanks, man." Brian murmured with approval as Kevin attempted to calm down.

"Don't thank me yet, B-rok. I'm not on your side either. This is all bizarre. Absolutely crazy. I don't really want to sit here and have this kind of talk until Nick's awake to prove things one way or the other. If you two want to hash things out, fine. It will keep Kevin awake. I'll go down to see Nick, and leave you two alone."


	14. Chapter 14

The shrill electronic ring of his cell phone woke A.J. from a restless sleep. With a groan he managed to retrieve it from the tangled sheets and put it to his ear.

"Mr McLean?" It was management. No-one in the whole Backstreet Boys organisation called him Mr. McLean - with the exception of management's PR people. He'd always had the sneaky feeling that it was their way of trying to get him to "behave".  
Well, he wasn't in the mood to play nice today. He glanced at the clock and groaned again. Twenty minutes.

"What now?" he snapped.

"Uh..." the flunky on the other end of the phone was taken aback. The Backstreet Boys were very professional in their dealings with their management company, and were not known for ungracious behaviour. A.J. figured he was allowed a few slips today. "Mr. Littrell called earlier," she began.

"Brian? What'd he say?" He sat up, deciding this might actually be important.

"He put some conditions on media access to the hospital," the slightly uncomfortable, diplomatic tone to her voice made A.J. chuckle. B-rok had put his foot down. When laid-back Brian exercised his authority, everyone got nervous.

"And?"

"He promised them a press conference." A.J. swore. "Our office would appreciate it if the conference was sooner rather than later - we only have so many lines, Mr. McLean, and we do have other clients."

"Limp Bizkit needs as much PR help as they can get," he agreed, responding to her attempt at humour. "It's all on me, then? Whoopee."

"What time would you prefer to..."

"Next year sometime," he sighed. "Uh... look where am I gonna do this?"

"Your tour manager is discussing that with your hotel right now."

"Solomon knows about this? Why isn't he the one telling me?"

"He...thought it would be wise if we called you."

"I'll just bet he did." Can't kill the messenger if the messenger is miles away. "All right... uh... how about an hour from whenever he can grab a room? I'll have him call you back."

"Thank-you. I know this isn't the best time."

"You can say that again. Look, can you do me a favour?" It was unprofessional as all hell, but what with his other new 'duties', A.J. wasn't ready to deal with all the management stuff as well.

"Yes?" she sounded a little afraid.

"Try and keep everyone at your end off our backs until... at least a day or so after Nick wakes up?" he had a brainwave. "Tell them I'll do daily reports around noon every day - that should keep them off your backs and away from the hospital." It wouldn't be fun, but he could deal with repeating himself to the press better than debating tour issues with management.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thank-you. Goodbye," he hung up. After staring at the phone for a few seconds, he dialed. "Denise McLean, please. It's Alex."

* * *

Howie stared at Nick's immobile form for what felt like hours. It had taken a fair amount of pleading with Roger, his supervisor and the ICU nurses before he'd been allowed down, and Howie almost regretted it. A million things were going through his mind. One of the more recurring themes was the thought; "Was this what Caroline looked like?"

He had missed saying goodbye to his sister when she died, a deep regret that still haunted him. Seeing Nick so helpless brought back scenes of old nightmares. He knew Brian was pretty sure that Nick was going to be okay, but it was very hard to believe. Even in his quietest moments, Nick always seemed to be full of pent-up energy, of life. Now, he was truly at rest for the first time in memory. It was truly frightening.

Howie tasted salt and realised he was crying. Without wiping away his tears, he rolled a little closer to Nick's bed. Slowly, stifling a groan of pain as his ribs protested the movement, he stood up.

"Hey Nick?" Nick didn't respond. Howie reached out a hand and stroked the younger man's cheek. To his great relief, Nick's skin was still warm to the touch. "Nicky, don't worry, okay? I don't really know what happened but don't worry about it. Just concentrate on getting better. I hate hospitals..." he had to stop for a moment, fighting to breathe through the lump in his throat that was spreading to his chest. "And I hate that you're in one like this. You need to get out and get on with life, all right?"

He had made it back to the wheelchair when he thought to add. "Kevin might not get down to see you, but I know he's pulling for you, even if he can't show it."


	15. Chapter 15

_He can't show it_

 

_You're going to break their hearts_

 

_Why couldn't he tell me?_

 

_Kevin might not get down to see you_

 

_He can't show it_

Nick's awareness was slowly returning. Too weak as yet to rebuild the defences Lina had broken open to get to him, he could feel the pain of everyone around him in the hospital. Strongest was the pain of those closest to him. Brian, Howie, A.J., Kevin. Pain and confusion. Confusion he'd caused. He was dimly aware of the good wishes they held for him, but the negative thoughts, as negative thoughts almost always are, were stronger. Kevin's anger at him was fierce and raw. That, most of all, was what he shrank from.

What she could feel from Nick worried Suzanne. His deepest wounds were in his psyche, and right now he was missing the vital ingredient to healing them - the will to do so. She conferred with her team about help. The answer wasn't good.

"Mindi?"

The tired saxophonist answered immediately. "Lina can't?"

The morning's rescue had scarred Nick's partner almost as badly as it had Nick. Normally he would have leaned on her for some of the energy and positivity needed to start the healing process, but he'd done too much of a number on her already.

"No, Lina can't." Suzanne replied sadly. "He's going to need them."

"They don't all accept this, you know." Mindi sighed.

"If they can't..."

Both psychics left the thought unfinished. There was enough negativity surrounding Nick as it was.

* * *

A.J. looked out at the sea of reporters who filled the room. He gulped, and looked back at his Mum. Denise squeezed his hand. "Want me to go up there with you?"

He shook his head. Somehow, he needed to hear himself say the words, words he hadn't really said to anyone yet. And only he could say the right words. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, asking for help from God, and from any stray psychics who might be around. For a moment, he thought he felt Mindi. Then he made his way to the table.

"Hi." Flashes went off like crazy, blinding him. He felt tiny. Even when Johnny Suede had done conferences, the band had been up with him. Now, it was just him. He cleared his throat nervously. "Uh... well, I'm going to make a statement, and then I'll take a couple of questions. But go easy on me, okay? It's been a long day."

There was a murmur throughout the room, then he continued. "As you all know, the Backstreet Boys' tour bus was involved in an accident early this morning. The driver of the bus is dead," Somehow he felt it was important that Bob not be left out. "I'd like to extend my sympathies to his family. He was a good guy." He took another breath. "Kevin Richardson has a broken leg and a concussion, Howie Dorough has a few cracked ribs, a concussion, and recieved ten stitches on his leg. Brian Littrell was bumped around a lot, as they all were, and has a head wound. You all remember that Brian is a heart patient - the hospital is keeping a close eye on him, but he seems to be ok. They were all very lucky and I thank God for that. I also..." he cleared his throat again.

"I also want to thank everyone that helped in the rescue attempt. The EMTs, the fire brigade, the cops, everyone. Without them things could have been a lot worse and God only knows what I'd be saying to you right now." Now, the worst. He closed his eyes a moment, fighting back tears. "Nick Carter...Nick's not doin' too well. They say there might be some permanent damage to his spine but they can't be sure. He also did a number on his right arm. He hasn't regained consciousness yet." A.J. gulped. "That's it."

He was in too much of a state to actually pick questions. Denise came up and acted as moderator.

"A.J., is there anything you'd like to say to the fans?"

"One.. no, two things. Pray for Nick. We're all doing that, but a few thousand other prayers ain't gonna hurt none. Also... I know you guys love us and you want to show your support and all... but please - if you do go to the hospital, if you are outside there now, listening, please... remember the patients," he had talked to B-rok before the conference, and this had been one of Brian's main concerns. "Stay away from the entrances, and keep the noise level down."

"What is going to happen with the rest of the tour?"

Stupid question. "We're postponing. We've all performed hurt at some point or other, but four of us... and when Nick wakes up he won't ready to perform right away."

"What happens if Nick doesn't wake up? Will you go on as a foursome?"

It was a thought he hadn't allowed himself to think. "Nick will wake up. Next question?"

"What exactly happened? What kind of accident was it?"

A.J. shook his head. "I don't know. There don't seem to have been any witnesses - it was early in the morning. The guys don't remember anything much after the show. All I know is that they... they went through the guardrail, the bus rolled down the hill and hit a tree. Brian, Kevin and Howie were thrown clear - Nick got trapped inside. They think Bob died on impact." His first sight of the bus loomed up in front of him again, and he began to shake. Denise noticed and quickly put an end to the conference, getting her son offstage.


	16. Chapter 16

A.J. and Denise were on their way to the hotel elevators when A.J.'s bodyguard tapped him on the shoulder. He hefted his radio apologetically. "No emergency, but they need you at the hospital."

"No emergency?" Denise repeated, confused.

"That's what they said. Brian wants you there, but there's no emergency."

Without even a sigh, A.J. turned himself towards the nearest way out. "I'll take care of it. See you later Mom." He left his mother wondering why seeing her son with the weight of the world on his shoulders made her so proud.

* * *

In the car on the way over, A.J. called Brian's room.

"What's up B-rok?"

"You're on your way, right?" Brian demanded.

"Relax, I'm almost there."

"Bob and Leslie just got here."

A.J. groaned. Somehow, almost any situation involving the youngest Backstreet Boy got ten times more stressful and complicated when his parents were involved. He took a wild guess. "Bob wants Nick in L.A.?"

"Help," was the only reply.

This time, A.J. swore.

By the time he got to the I.C.U., it was a battle zone. Brian and Nick's doctor were arguing with Mr. Carter, Howie was trying to console a sobbing Leslie, and Kevin looked on in stony silence. Deciding to get the simplest part out of the way first, he approached Leslie and Howie.

"Hey girl, what's wrong?"Nick's middle sister was sitting crosslegged on the floor, leaning against Howie's wheelchair, his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at A.J. through a curtain of blonde hair.

"What's wrong?" she demanded fiercely. "My brother is in there," she jabbed a finger at the heavy doors separating the I.C.U. from the waiting room, "he's hurt, he's unconscious, he's alone, he's probably terrified, and no one's letting me see him! That's what's wrong." She glanced over towards her father and A.J. had to look away. He met Howie's eyes and knew that they had both seen a very Carter expression on Leslie's face - the 'my parents are idiots, what's new' expression they had seen on Nick's face so many times.

"It's past visiting hours." Howie explained softly. "And Bob's making enough noise to wake the dead. They think she'll be another distraction."

"Come on." He pulled her up and led her to the intercom. "This is A.J. McLean. I have a young lady here who needs to visit Nick Carter."

"I'm sorry Mr. McLean, but it's past visting hours.."

"She just got off a flight from Halifax, she's family and she's scared. Not even five minutes?"

"We've bent the rules twice already today."

"Please!" Leslie pleaded. "Just let me see him. I'll be quiet, I swear!"

"I..."

"I'm not leaving this waiting room until someone lets me in. I don't care if I have to stay here all night." Another flash of Nick, eliciting a pained chuckle from A.J. The Carter kids were stubborn as mules, and fiercely united against the world. Suddenly he wondered if Leslie knew.

There was a pause. Leslie glared at the intercom until it finally crackled to life once more. "All right. One family member. Five minutes. No more."

"Yes!" she cheered and hugged him. "Thanks Aje." The door buzzed open. A.J. watched her move down the hall for a moment before turning towards problem number two.

Ignoring Kevin for the moment, but making a mental note to take advantage of the "no sleeping for twenty-four hours" rule later, he advanced on the three combatants.

"Could everyone just *shut up* for like, two seconds?" They all turned to stare at him. "*Thank*-you. Rok, you ain't lookin' so hot, scram and get some sleep. Take the other two with you." Brian stared at him for a moment or two longer before finally pointing his wheelchair towards the elevator. Howie and a somewhat reluctant Kevin followed.

"All right. Hi Bob, how was your trip?"

"Don't start with me A.J.." Mr. Carter warned. "I know you all cling to the myth about the 'Backstreet Family' but in times like these, Nick needs his real family."

"Right now, Nick needs medical attention," he pointed out. "Whether you like it or not, moving him anywhere isn't the best idea."

"Why not?" This time, Bob addressed the doctor. "You've told me he's stable; if they use an air ambulance and do it right, what harm could it do?"

"I don't know, Mr. Carter. But as I was telling you, I agree with Mr. McLean that the best option is to keep your son here until he wakes up. It may be that when he does wake up that a facility closer to home would be better for him, but it's too soon to say what his condition will be when he regains consciousness."

"But the final decision is mine? After all, I'm his father."

"He's twenty-one, Bob." A.J. grinned. He remembered how elated Nick had been by that idea. He loved his parents, but the idea that they could never control him again had been probably the best present he had gotten.

"And he's unconscious."

_And he has a living will._ A.J. fought to keep from revealing his surprise as Mindi's thought slipped into his mind. How on earth did she know that? And how could he 'find out' the information? He gnawed on his bottom lip. Bob Carter, seeing his hesitation, smiled. Suddenly something clicked.

Whipping out his phone, he hit 6 on speed dial. "This is A.J. McLean of the Backstreet Boys. Could you put me through to our lawyer, please?"


	17. Chapter 17

Howie and Kevin were both sitting up in bed when A.J. came in. They watched his every move as he walked slowly across the room to Kevin's bed, and drew up a stool. He leaned his elbows on the bed, put his face in his hands and let out a long sigh. The room was silent for a few minutes as they waited for him to speak.

Finally, Howie couldn't take it any longer. "Well? What's happening?"

"He's staying." A.J.'s voice was tired, holding no thrill of victory. He sounded old.

Kevin let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

"But?" Something was still wrong, Howie could tell.

"He has a living will." A.J. raised his head and looked at them. "Fuckin' twenty-one years old and he has a living will." He shook his head, "Saved his ass right now... but, can you imagine? I don't even have a *normal* will. Nick has this whole long, complicated thing in case he's unconscious for a long time, or brain-dead. What kind of life is that?" He was crying now, "He thought about something like that so often that he walked into the lawyer's office the day after his twenty-first birthday and had it written up."

The others had no answer.

"And you," his voice turned hard, his dark eyes smoldering with anger, "You're so angry at him for not telling us the truth, for hiding it away. You think he fucked up your life, letting you walk away from that mess with a barely-broken leg? Well congratulations, man. He chose you as his guardian."

Kevin paled.

"I don't care how confused all this shit makes you, how betrayed one secret makes you feel, all I know is that kid in the ICU trusts you with his life. I hope you're happy, Kevin Richardson."

* * *

Jacob came to take over for Suzanne.

"How is he?"

"Physically, he's ready to wake up. Emotionally..." she sighed. "They're on a roller coaster, and he's along for the ride. Now that his father's around, things aren't looking up. He hasn't got much of a reason to return to the living."

"Neither has Lina." At the alarmed look on Suzanne's face, he shook his head. "Oh, she's awake now... it wasn't a sympathy thing with Nick like we thought it might be."

"Thank God. Those two are so close."

"I dunno, Suzy. I have a bad feeling about this."

"I'll go say hello before I sleep."

"You do that. Anything I can do here, besides wait?"

"Keep an ear out for them, give Mindi any help she asks for..." she shrugged. "Give him a good swift kick in the pants? Anything that seems like a good idea."

"All improv as usual? Good thing I'm an actor." After satisfying himself that his teammate was right about Nick's physical condition, Jacob decided to take a more active role in things. "Unconscious psychic to sleeping non-psychic. Think I can manage it, Nick?"

* * *

Brian lay in his hospital bed, sleeping but restless. His subconscious was still dealing with the complicated events of the day. Fear, pain, confusion, guilt, worry, and even a little anger swirled around in his head. Nightmare images of the damaged bus, horrible fantasies of Bob, the dead bus driver, frightening scenarios where Brian himself died, all repeated again and again. The most prominent theme though, was Nick. After a few variations on the idea of Nick dying while he watched helplessly, Brian entered a new dream.

He wandered aimlessly through a thick orange fog, searching for something. Every so often he caught a glimpse of green, a whiff of ocean breeze, a crash of cymbals, all clues to a mystery he couldn't solve. He never seemed to get any closer to an answer, but something told him it was important he keep going. The sense of urgency grew and grew until Brian broke into a run.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" he yelled frantically, arms and legs pumping. "Hang on!" Just as his lungs were about to burst, he ran straight into a closet door.

The door was taller than Brian. It was the kind of door he had often seen on hotel closets - a door on runners, where one part slid back behind another. Dust covered the runners and lined the strange handle set into the door. It was a circle cut into quarters, each quarter made of a different kind of wood. He tried to grasp the circle in the middle, but his hand kept slipping. His task wasn't made any easier by the quiet sobs he could hear coming from the other side of the door.

Eventually he changed tactics, and tried to grip each of the quarters in turn. The last one he tried, in the upper left corner, suddenly lit up. The sobbing quietened and a very young boy asked, "Brian?"

Brian woke up with Nick's voice ringing in his ears.


	18. Chapter 18

Kevin hobbled up and down the hospital corridor, pacing on his crutches. He'd been going for about fifteen minutes and the night shift barely looked up as he passed the nursing station again. Action always helped Kevin think. Normally, he would have cleaned house, or the bus, or the hotel room. There wasn't much to clean in a hospital, so he'd taken to pacing.

His world had gone topsy-turvy that morning. To the other Boys he presented a facade of anger at Nick's lies, but it was partly a cover for the fear that had seized his heart. What he had seen and heard at the crash site was evidence of what was probably the world's biggest conspiracy. There had been perhaps twenty or thirty people there, all psychic, from what he had gathered, and they weren't mysterious super-heroes.

_Anyone not an EMT, or part of the fire brigade, is getting ready to pull out._

 

_One ambulance is ahead of the pack, driven by one of us. We're gonna pretend the EMTs here came with that one and are just dealing with you now._

 

_Marge? You on the fire truck up there?_

 

_The Backstreet Boys just had a lucky escape, let's make it look real!_

At least some of those people were qualified emergency personnel. They had day jobs. They could be anyone. They could be the saxophonist who had been on two tours with you, or worse, the guy you thought of as your little brother. The one you had watched grow up, the one you thought came to you with all his worst troubles. Suddenly he was a stranger, with strange abilities and a secret life. If Nick was in on it, who else might be? The doctor who was monitoring them? The people on the management team? His wife? Who could he really trust?

But in one moment, Nick had managed to throw him yet another curveball. That was like Nick, to keep everyone guessing until the very end. No matter what his public persona of the moment, the real Nick was much different, a person known only to his four groupmates, his brothers. Kevin shook his head. No. They hadn't known him at all. Except...

Legal guardian. When the chips were down, Nick had turned to Kevin for help once again. Brian was his best friend, but when things got so bad that he didn't want advice, or friendly commiseration, it was Kevin he always turned to for hugs and a shoulder to cry on. Homesickness was something to grouse to Brian about. Trouble at home would find him hanging about Kevin silently, waiting for the older man to turn to him.

* * *

Kevin finished a game of pool with Howie and waited as his friend made a sour face and counted out ten pounds. The blonde head over in the arcade section caught his eye. It was bent over one of the consoles, apparently concentrating on a game, but the lanky frame it was attatched to was still, instead of thrashing about with every move as Nick was wont to do. He waved Howie off at the offer of a movie and went to join the youngest member.

Nick didn't look up at his approach, just kept staring at the brightly-lit screen.

"Out of money?" Kevin asked gently.

"No," was the sullen reply.

"What's up then?"

"Nothing."

"You sure? Most people don't stare at video games in hotel game rooms at 4 in the morning."

"Most people don't have to deal with my mom."

"Oh." He waited, having some idea what the problem was already.

"Lou thought it was a good idea too. I thought he'd tell her how stupid it was."

_Lou's not perfect, Nick. Not by a long shot._ "What'd he say?"

The teen shrugged. "I'm popular. Fans want to know me. It'll help the group. Boost the family image. The same old stuff. Stupid stuff." He sighed, finally looking up to face Kevin. "You know how I thought things were getting better? All those long phone calls and talks we were having when she was on the road with us? I thought..." he closed his eyes, pain evident on his face. "I thought she was finally listening to me," he gulped. "I thought she was starting to understand." Tears trickled down his cheeks at last. "She was taping it all."

"Oh Nick." It was all he could say. What else was there? Without a word he reached for the young boy and hugged him close, letting him cry.

* * *

Kevin leaned against the cold metal doors separating the waiting room from the ICU. Somewhere in there lay both a stranger, and one of his closest friends in the world. "Who are you, Nick?" he whispered.


	19. Chapter 19

Mindi headed to the hospital the next morning, her inner conflict still raging. Should she confront the group with their role in Nick's future, or simply help them along as best she could, leaving it to fate? Jacob's opinion was blatantly obvious. Every psychic monitoring Nick in some fashion had become aware of his involvement in the stronger connection between Nick and Brian. Had it been left up to Jacob, he would probably have marched up to the remaining Backstreet Boys and knocked a little sense into them. However it wasn't up to Jacob. Psychics didn't reveal themselves unless it was totally necessary, and since Mindi was already available to be spokesperson, the job fell to her.

She was so caught up in her thoughts, she nearly walked right into the bodyguard standing just outside the elevator on the Boys' floor.

"Whoops. Mornin' Mindi," the deceptively short, stocky man greeted her. "Y'ain't slept well."

"You got it Sam," she replied. "Waiting up for Alex. He stayed here all night, huh?"

"He was asleep in a chair when I got here." Sam nodded in the direction of Howie and Kevin's room. "Went down to get some breakfast a little while ago."

"The others?"

"They finally let Kev an' Howie sleep. Don't wake 'em if you know what's good for ya. Brian might be up though."

"Ok. When Alex comes back up, tell him where I am, will you?"

"Sure thing."

As she walked away from Sam, Mindi reflected on something she had learned over various tours with famous musicians. The moment a bodyguard isn't needed, it's as if he or she turns off, ceases to exist. One evening, out of curiosity, she slipped into the mind of a bodyguard, trying to see if the inside imitated the self-effacing exterior. What she found was a new kind of mental sheild. Behind it, the person was definitely thinking, both of various situations that might require his attention, and of other more day-to-day concerns. But all thinking was surrounded by a sort of smooth mental sheild. Nothing strong, just smoke and mirrors, enough to keep him from being noticed by the casual observer. A useful trick.

The moment she entered Brian's room, Mindi felt herself wishing for mastery of that same useful trick. His blue eyes pinned her where she stood, seeking answers. If he'd had the power, Mindi felt certain he would have torn them from her mind. There was very little guilt in Brian's eyes this morning, mainly an intense determination.

"What happened last night?" he demanded.

She licked her lips, her mouth suddenly gone dry. This was not how it was supposed to go. Instead of her lecturing Brian, it was he who was in control, the interrogator. What had Jacob's 'active role' let loose?

"Well?" he pressed. "I had a nightmare last night. It had something to do with Nick. Was one of y'all in my head?"

"Not exactly." Mindi squirmed under his unweilding gaze. It was unlike Brian to be so single-minded. Finally she marshalled her thoughts well enough to make a protest. "Look, this isn't something that I should talk about with just you. All four of you are affected, you should all hear the same story."

"If you don't change the story any, you shouldn't have any problems repeating it," he pointed out. "Kevin and Howie need their sleep, and I need some answers now."

"Can I at least wait until Alex gets here?"

"For what?" A.J. asked, walking in with a cup of coffee in one hand.

"For Brian to interrogate me."

"Y'know if you're gonna interrogate the woman Bri, make her sit in one of those way messed-up plastic chairs over there. I can tell you from experience, they're more uncomfortable than just standing."

"Bone..." both of them warned in the same exasperated tone.

"Just a suggestion. If you want to give her the third degree, be my guest." A.J. shrugged. "Personally, I thought ol' Kevvy-Kev would be the first one in line to do it, right before he fired her for betrayal of trust or something."

"This is different. I'm not mad, at least not yet. I just wanna know exactly what's going on. I think you've been holding out on us, Mindi."

"You're not wrong," she admitted, relaxing a little now that A.J. was around to break the tension "This kind of stuff isn't easy to tell, I had to sit back and think about how to say it, to whom and when."

"Considering my dream last night, I think the answers are 'tell it to me straight', 'tell it to me' and 'tell it to me now'." Brian decided.

"Huh? What dream?"

Mindi ignored A.J.'s question and began to figure out where to start. "Before I can really explain everything, you're going to have to tell us both about your dream, as much as you can remember. First, I'll tell you why you had the dream, what the 'dream' really was, and then after you tell me what you saw, we can start trying to figure out what you're supposed to do about it."


	20. Chapter 20

Mindi drew a deep breath and sat down in a chair. "We've been trying not to worry you. You're all having different, pretty intense reactions to the whole situation, and we tried to keep you from being too worried on top of that."

"I knew you were holding back," A.J. muttered.

"What's wrong with being worried?" Brian wanted to know. "Our friend is lying in a hospital bed, isn't it natural?"

"Sure it's natural, but it doesn't help Nick." Absentmindedly, she twirled a lock of hair around her fingers. "Lina had to do some pretty drastic stuff to get him out of that bus. She had to go right into his deepest subconscious, fast. There wasn't time to be fancy; she broke down all his normal mental barriers. Resurrecting those is a conscious process, so until he wakes up, he's an emotional sponge. The team monitoring him have been doing a pretty good job of blocking the emotions of random people in the hospital, but his connection to you guys is just too strong. Everytime you think of him, he feels it."

"So why shouldn't he know that we're worried?" A.J. persisted.

Mindi struggled with a way to explain. She'd never had to figure out what the words were for this type of situation. "Worry is... I guess you'd call it a negative emotion. They're louder, heavier. Worse, what Nick feels is the emotion itself, not the reason behind it. All he knows is that you're worried, and that he caused it. Just makes him feel bad. If the outside world keeps feeling bad, he has no reason to wake up and face it."

"Why not? If he faced it, he could deal with it and make it go away." Brian reasoned.

"That's logic, B-rok. Nick's not at a level where he can think straight like that." She pushed her glasses back into place, still trying to get through to them. "Right now it's strictly self-preservational. We all have a safe place in our unconscious we can retreat to, y'know... 'calm blue waves' or whatever the therapists say. That's where Nick is right now. Why should he come out when he feels safer and happier there?"

"If he feels our worry..." the two men exchanged glances. "He feels Kevin too?"

"And Howie." she confirmed.

"What about his dad? He was here last night..."

"Maybe. I couldn't give you a list of who all he can feel." Mindi shrugged uncomfortably and A.J. picked up on her discomfort right away.

"There's someone who could?"

"I really want to talk about that with the whole group."

A memory flashed through his mind. "Lina?"

"A.J., please?"

"Bone, I think we're getting off track. I still don't know why I had that dream last night." Brian reminded him. A.J. stared hard at the blonde musician for a moment before nodding slowly. "So.. why did I?"

"Nick's not going to come out of it by himself. He's gonna need a lot of help from the people closest to him, feelings of love and support, among other things. Last night," she sighed, still not sure whether to curse or thank Jacob, "someone decided to speed the process up a little."

"A member of Nick's team?" A.J. and Mindi both stared at Brian.

"Who you been talkin' to, boy?" A.J. demanded.

"Uh... Suzanne?"

Mindi rolled her eyes. "Damn special ops team can't handle any situation without turning it into a special ops case. By the time he wakes up, betcha fifty bucks I'm on the team as his replacement."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. Mostly stuff you're better off hearing from Nick someday." She waved it away, and continued. "Yeah, one of the people who's been monitoring him decided to get involved. You happened to be the only one sleeping at the time, Brian. I'd apologise for him but it's done."

"Dunno about you Rok, but I'm still confused."

"Same here." Brian admitted.

Short and blunt. That had worked the first time. "One of Nick's team decided it was time you guys started helping him heal, so he strengthened your connection to him and let Nick's subconscious tell you who and what he needed most."

"Better? Sort of?" Brian said half-heartedly. A.J. just shook his head. "Somebody connected my mind to Nick's somehow, 'cause... well, 'cause they thought they should. So, what I dreamed wasn't a real dream, it was a message from Nick."

"Well, you got some of it anyway," she confirmed. "Now, let's figure out the message. What did you dream?" Mindi listened hard as Brian launched into a description of his experience in dreamland. Her brow furrowed as he finished up. "That was all? Damn, I thought you would have gotten farther than that."

"Bad?" A.J. asked anxiously.

"Not totally. I mean, Jacob was able to open a connection, and Nick is aware that Brian's trying to get to him. That's something. And... you're sure you said 'Hang on'?"

Brian nodded.

"Good. In fact great. If nothing else, you encouraged him not to go back further. It'll be easier for you to reach him next time."

"Next time? Look Mins, why is it Brian who's gotta do it? He's not psychic. I thought it was easier for Nick to connect to another psychic. Couldn't you do it?"

"Me? Not a chance. Nick doesn't have a strong enough emotional connection to me. Right now he can't feel me unless whoever's monitoring him lets everyone into him. And that would fuck things right up."

"Why?"

"Brian, we're in a hospital. It's filled with pain, fear, anger, worry, stress, confusion, death, sadness, you name it, every negative emotion in the book is here, all within less than a mile of him. They open him up, he'd feel it all. Multiply your feelings about hospitals by about a billion and imagine that dropping on Nick like a ton of bricks." Brian went pale. "Besides which, there were four panels in that door handle, and you fit one of them. Nick's decided it's your support he needs to get through this. There's no going back."


	21. Chapter 21

"Damn," A.J. breathed. "When that boy decides to let cats out of bags, he doesn't do it halfway. What's he getting us into?"

"A whole lot of 'crazy shit', to quote you." Mindi responded. "He's been under more than twenty-four hours now, which means he's back at full strength, even though he's still not awake. Things are going to start getting weird today."

"'Start' she says." he snorted. "I dunno about you Bri, but I think the last twenty-four hours were just too normal. We need some weirdness, don'cha think?"

Brian rubbed his shoulder sympathetically. "Well Bone, considering how often we get to deal with 'normal', 'weird' has become pretty familiar."

"I guess you're right." A.J. sighed dramatically. Suddenly something occurred to him. "Mins, do you have a living will?"

"Hmmm? Oh, yeah." she replied casually. "Nick's helped out last night, right?"

"Yeah, thanks. I think it even knocked some sense into Kevin."

"Good. They taking it any better?"

He shrugged. "Maybe? Right now I think they're both seriously confused."

"Howie doesn't want to deal with it until Nick wakes up." Brian put in.

Mindi frowned. "He's going to have to deal with it if he wants Nick to wake up."

"Woah. Wait. Stop. Back right the hell up." A.J. held up a hand. "You're not saying what I think you're saying."

"No lies, remember? I might hold back now and again but I'm not going to lie to you, Alex. Four quarters to that door handle. Four of you. Two or three doesn't cut it. All four, without any reservations, ready to accept Nick completely, or he stays the way he is."

"Without reservations?" Brian swallowed. "That's askin' a lot."

"Maybe so, but if any of you puts a hand on that handle feeling anger or fear towards him, you'll be locking the door, and I can't promise anyone else will ever have the key."

* * *

A.J. looked over at Brian and Kevin as they all stood waiting to go into the day's press conference. It had been a long morning, between Mindi's dire pronouncements, getting Brian and Kevin released, and a few ugly rumours about what had happened the night before circulating in the press.

Brian looked more worried than ever. The possibility of losing his best friend forever was hitting him hard. Kevin wouldn't meet his eyes. He had become very introspective since learning of his new responsibility. If nothing else, he had stopped glaring at the whole world. But A.J. still wasn't sure if Kevin was going to go along with what they had to say. They couldn't exclude him, for one thing it would look bad, for another...

Denise McLean, who was acting as the moderator again, popped her head out of the conference room door, signalling they had five minutes. She was the closest thing to 'management' present, and once again A.J. was reminded why he hadn't called her immediately - she always knew when he was lying to her. If Kevin didn't take the stage with them, his mother would want to know why. If he did, but contradicted anything they had to say, or showed how he was feeling about Nick, things could get very bad.

It was Brian who broke the silence. "Cuz, you gonna be okay in there?"

The reply was a silent shrug.

"Look, all you gotta do is let me an' A.J. take most of the questions."

Finally, Kevin replied in his slow, thoughtful manner. "I'm Nick's guardian. That means I'm supposed to protect him. I will." As his cousin started to grin, he continued. "I don't have to like it, though."

"Good enough for now." A.J. growled. "Let's get this party started."

As usual, the flashbulbs blinded the three guys before they could even sit down. Brian helped Kevin with his crutches, and made sure he was sitting comfortably. Then the room fell silent. A.J. looked over at the Kentucky Cousins and realised they were both waiting for him. He was still spokesperson. *Nothing* was ever going to be normal again.

"Uh... Good afternoon. Thanks for coming. As you can see, I broke a couple of 'em out today, to come face the firing squad with me." This elicited a few chuckles. "Howie wanted to come too, but the laundry cart wouldn't fit three."

"There isn't really much else to say. Howie's on the mend, Nick's still unconscious, we're still worried." he glanced at Brian, who shrugged. "We'd like to thank the fans for their support, the hospital staff and everyone helping us through this... Mom... " wouldn't be an interview without the cheezy nod to Denise, who smiled from the podium. "That's pretty much it. Questions?"

The first one was from one of the MuchMusic veejays, thankfully *not* the sock. "We've uh, heard some disturbing rumours about Nick's family. What's going on there? Want to clear that up?"

Kevin cleared his throat. This, at least, was one he could take. "We've heard some of the rumours going around, and most of them are just wrong. Um... Nick's family has all," he glanced at Denise for confirmation, who mouthed 'B.J.'. "Most of his family has come to be with him. We're not stopping anyone from visiting him. Visitor rules are, um, pretty strict in the ICU, but as far as I know, they are allowed to see him."

"His sister spent some time with him when she arrived last night." A.J. put in.

Entertainment Tonight had a follow-up. "Is it true that you've insisted he stay in Colorado?"

"Not exactly." A.J. replied. "The doctors informed us that, since they haven't figured out just how badly Nick's spine was damaged, it's not a good idea to move him right now. We're just following their advice. All we want is what's best for Nick. If he can get better treatment somewhere else later on, we'll consider it."

"You keep saying 'we'." People magazine pointed out. "Are Nick's parents involving you in their decisions?"

The issue of Kevin's new legal status was something they had wanted kept quiet, but apparently it wasn't going to happen. Kevin spoke up again. "Actually, I'm involving the rest of the group in my decisions. We found out last night that Nick appointed me his guardian, in case anything like this happened." Murmurs went through the room.

"So the rumours of Nick's relationship with his parents..."

"I think we'd better leave that one for Nick." Brian spoke up. "Any questions *not* about Nick's parents?"

"Kevin, has anyone signed your cast yet?"

"Y'know Train... I was wondering what I was gonna do with this here permanent marker..." Brian, followed by A.J., gave the press a few photo ops of both of them signing Kevin's cast.


	22. Chapter 22

Kevin shook his head in disbelief. "And those are the same people who practically wrote a diary on my honeymoon. I don't get it. No one even hinted there was anything strange about the accident at all. How could they miss it?"

"I know you got bumped on the head Kev, but if you're remembering any press around the bus that morning, you're hallucinating." A.J. offered, chewing on a fry. They had sent someone out for McDonald's and were sitting around Brian's room after the press conference, having lunch.

"I see your point." Brian nodded, waving a McNugget about. "We've learned that no matter what, there's always a leak. So far, there hasn't even been anything in the tabloids."

"You checked?" A.J. looked at him over his shades.

"Your Mom's a very thorough press secretary, man" he was reminded. "I just asked her for a rundown of all the stories so far. Nada."

"That was a good idea, Bone." Kevin spoke up.

"Huh?"

"Calling Denise. She does a great job, without interfering in how we want to do things. Good call."

A.J. shrugged. "I couldn't handle it all myself, and I wanted someone to help me keep management off our backs. Who else would I call?"

"Whoo! A.J. McLean being modest. Never thought I'd see the day." Brian teased.

"If you weren't so fragile Rok, I'd whup your ass."

"Who you callin' fragile?"

Things were about to escalate into an all-out pillow fight, when A.J. suddenly froze, looking concerned. He started shooing the other two out of the room. "Nick's in trouble. Let's go."

"What the hell is going on?" Kevin demanded.

"Mindi's with him. She gave me a heads-up."

"What's Mindi doing around so much?"

"We need someone to explain what's going on." A.J. replied "She's been there since I found you guys.

"Doesn't it bother you, having her in your head?" Brian shivered, stepping into the elevator. "It would give me the creeps."

"Not really." He ran a hand through his hair, considering. "It's like talking to someone in the next room. I can hear her voice fine, I just can't see her."

"If Nick ever does that to me..." Brian shivered again. But A.J. wasn't paying any attention.

"What? Mins you're asking the impossible. There's no way to cover that up."

Brian raised his eyebrows and tried to catch his cousin's eye, but Kevin was doing his utmost to ignore what was going on right under his nose.

* * *

Mindi was sure she was going to go insane. Although she had been quite prepared for things to start getting a little out of hand that day, all things considered, she had *not* expected Howie to be sitting right next to Nick when they did. Now, on top of trying to keep anyone from noticing the gale force winds and tremors around Nick's bed, alerting A.J. to the problem, and debating the fastest solution with Nick's teammates, she also had to concentrate on keeping Howie from freaking out.

She had almost succeeded on her last task when yet another tremor shook Nick's bed. Exasperated, she snapped out, "Suzanne and I can't do this all ourselves. Someone get down here and *hide* this before I slip!"

"Mindi?" Seeing that his eyes had become two brown question marks, she realised she'd spoken aloud again and cursed.

_We've got to get Nick out of here. Too damn many witnesses. A zillion complications_

"_What? Mins you're asking the impossible. There's no way to cover that up._"

_Wasn't talking to you, Alex. Concentrate on getting Brian here fast._ In the meantime, she turned to the only available, very frightened Backstreet Boy. "Howie, you have *got* to calm down."

Howie clearly thought she was out of her mind. Nick was behaving like something possessed, no one was answering his calls for help, she was yelling at people who weren't there, and she wanted him to calm down?? Normally Mindi could have compelled him with a little mental nudge, but she had discovered what Nick had during the rescue - Howie was one of those rare people whose minds instinctively shied away from psychic contact. She racked her brains for another solution.

Another tremor shook Nick's bed, his right arm thrashing about so hard, Mindi grabbed it to keep him from getting hurt. "Stop it!" she admonished, as if it was going to do any good. "You manage to keep away from telekinesis for weeks at a time, you couldn't have waited five more minutes?"

"What difference would five minutes make?" Howie snapped at her. "This is insane!"

"Five minutes more and you'd have been back in your room," she pointed out. "You could have kept on being blissfully unaware, and I wouldn't have to deal with a hysterical idiot on top of everything."

"Hysterical idiot? You're the one talking to thin air! At least I've buzzed and yelled for a doctor."

"Exactly what kind of doctor did you have in mind, Mr. Dorough?" Not that any of Howie's calls had gotten through. Suzanne had thrown up a protective shield around the area the moment she sensed a surge in Nick's energy.

"I..." He suddenly looked so defeated, so lost, Mindi finally felt a little sorry for him.

"Look Howie, I know it looks terrifying. Hell, I know what's going on and I'm not happy about it either. But you've got to trust that the best thing you can do right now is to stay calm. Might even help if you tried to talk to him a little."

He shook his head. "I can't. I... I just want it to stop."

Verbalising, this time for his benefit, she asked, "Can we get him out? He's not helping down here, it might even make it worse later on if he stays." Recieving an affirmative answer, she nodded. "All right Howie. When I say go, you can walk out of the ICU and head back to your room. I'll send A.J. to talk to you once they all get here. I don't have to tell you not to mention this to anyone else?"

He nodded, and Mindi watched sadly as he walked slowly away.


	23. Chapter 23

Mindi sat in the middle of the maelstrom that was Nick Carter's telekinetic fit for what seemed like hours. She could easily have walked away, talked to Howie, gone for a coffee, chatted with a bodyguard... but she felt responsible. Not necessarily to Nick - between Suzanne monitoring him directly, Jacob and Terry keeping the sheild up, and Lina fueling the sheild from afar, he was safe as houses for the time being. It was A.J. she was beginning to look at as some sort of prot é.

Considering everything that had been thrown at him over the past day or so, Alex was dealing remarkably well. He had accepted Nick's secret with barely a murmur of objection, although it was obvious he still had plenty of questions. And, having accepted it, he was taking the leadership position, trying to ensure that the whole group pulled together. On top of his behaviour, Mindi couldn't help feeling some kinship with him because he was so easy to 'path. It didn't seem to take much effort on the part of either one of them to make a connection. She wasn't sure why exactly - she had never been good at connecting to non-psychics, but any contact with Alex left her with only a mild buzzing in her ears, instead of the raging headaches she was used to.

Finally (in reality only ten minutes after Howie had left), she picked up a sense of confusion from him, just outside the ICU doors. They couldn't get in without being buzzed in by the nursing staff, who didn't really need to know what was going on at the present moment.

"I gotcha," she murmured, and telekinetically pushed open the door for them.

* * *

A.J. was a little startled when his dilemma about sneaking in solved itself almost before he'd thought enough to grab Brian's hand away from the intercom button. He caught the opening door cautiously, waiting for someone to emerge and discover them. When no one came out, he whispered/thought, "Mins?"

"Send Brian and Kevin in," she replied. "Howie's in his room. I think he needs a friend."

"What'd she say?" Brian whispered, peering into the quiet hall.

"You two go on in. I'm gonna talk to D."

"Why don't I talk to..." Kevin began.

"Because you need to be in there." A.J. jabbed a finger in the direction of Nick's alcove. "And Howie needs to talk to someone who's thinking rationally. For once in our careers, that's me."

Kevin's jaw dropped at this audacious statement. Before he could bring himself to reply properly, Brian had dragged him inside the ICU. The door swung shut with a clinical click. He felt trapped.

"This way, cuz." Brian whispered. With a resigned sigh, Kevin turned and followed his cousin through the worst part of any hospital. Eventually they arrived at Nick's bed.

From a distance, Nick appeared to be sleeping peacefully, if one ignored the various tubes, machines and restraints clustered around his body. He also seemed to be alone. The two men exchanged a puzzled glance. Where was the emergency? Where was Mindi?

Out of nowhere, her familiar voice cut into the silence. "Take three steps straight forward... slowly."

Brian tugged at Kevin's wrist once again, feeling him hesitate. "Now, Kev."

Midway through the second step, they both felt a curious tingle, as if walking through a mild electric current. At the third, Brian gasped. The scene had changed from one of sterile peace to absolute chaos. Several of Nick's restraints were open, clanking loudly as his bed shook. Strong winds whipped though his hair. Mindi's curls bobbed alarmingly around her face where she sat next to the bed, stroking Nick's left hand as if to soothe him, whatever good it was doing.

"Well Brian," she greeted them calmly, "it's time to make a decision."


	24. Chapter 24

"Decision?" Brian stared at Mindi dumbly, allowing Kevin to speak for both of them. "Don't you think you should be talking to me about any decisions that affect Nick?? And what the hell is going on??"

"This isn't a decision you can make, Kevin," she replied evenly, never taking her eyes off Brian. "It's between Nick and Brian. You're here to watch and learn."

Mindi's stare distracted Brian from everything happening around him. With some effort he managed to almost match her calm tone. "What is going on?"

"It's a lot better than it looks," he was informed.

"Good, 'cause right now it looks like a scene from 'The Exorcist'." Kevin put in.

"Kev...."

Mindi stopped him, "Let him talk. You may need a devil's advocate to help you think."

"Thanks." Kevin muttered.

"As I was saying, Brian remember this morning I told you things were going to get weird? This is pretty much what I was expecting. I wasn't expecting Howie to be sitting here when it started, but life's a bitch like that." Her wry tone relaxed Brian more than the preternaturally calm voice it replaced.

"Can you be more specific? This is definitely weird and..." his glance strayed back to Nick. "You're sure he's ok thrashin' around like that? Can't be good for his spine."

"Suzanne?"

Suzanne appeared. "He'll be fine. Let me worry about his physical health - you have bigger problems."

"Exactly how many people are here?" Kevin demanded.

"Seven, including yourself, Brian and Nick," he was told. "And one more isn't actually here but is involved. We're taking care of him as best we can."

"But there's a limit." Mindi put in.

"Obviously."

She ignored him and continued. "Brian, you learned last night that Nick needs the four of you to help him wake up. We can't substitute for you. Now, the other three will have to make their decision about this soon, but we're going to ask for your help with him right now."

"What do I do?"

"Why him?"

"Nick heard me last night." Brian explained. "In my dreams we uh, made a connection."

"One of Nick's team helped Nick and Brian connect subconsciously. Now, Nick is more aware of Brian's presence than anyone else. It's one of the reasons he's doing all this." She gestured at the chaos. "Because he's not psychic, Brian can't really feel the connection, and even if he could sort of figure out that Nick was trying to get his attention, he can't answer back. So Nick's feeling lonely and rejected, on top of all the other horrible things he's feeling."

"So he's throwing a tantrum??"

"No, Kev. He has no idea he's doing this. What's happening now is that his energy levels are right back up to full, and his control is still completely shot. Telekinesis can be triggered by strong emotions and Nick's got plenty of those right now."

"He's also pretty powerful, huh?" Brian observed.

Mindi almost grinned. "Oh yeah."

"You need me to calm him down a little?" he guessed.

"Pretty much. But if you decide to do this, there's no going back. When the time comes to pull him out of this you *have* to be there pulling along with everyone else. Plus, the connection goes two ways. If we get it strong enough that you can respond to him, you're going to also be able to hear him. And you won't be able to shut it off until he wakes up."

"I can deal with that."

"You're sure? You'll feel everything he's feeling, hear everything he's thinking. And if you're thinking it will convince Kevin here to go along with things, everything done in the final stage has to be done *for Nick*. Anyone goes in doing it to save your sanity, they'll lock him inside himself."

"I'm sure." Brian's blue eyes burned with a clear light. "I've been trying to understand why he kept this all a secret. Maybe this way I get to help him out and figure that out."

"All right." She took a deep breath. "Guys, I really need to concentrate. Can you hold him for a few seconds?"

The alcove stilled immediately.

"Kevin, you're a distraction."

"But I..."

"Kevin go now before you mess things up even more!"

He fled.


	25. Chapter 25

The stillness made Brian's heart pound with anxiety again. Or maybe it was just that he could hear it. Thud-thud...thud-thud...thud-thud. He swallowed hard.

"What next?" His voice came out as a croak.

"You have to send Nick a signal. Let him know that you're here, waiting. Last time you saw a door. This time we're hoping for a window."

"A... window?"

Mindi shrugged. "I don't have words for this part. I don't know exactly what will happen for you. I'm not even sure what signal you can send to him. You're interacting with his deep subconscious - that's metaphor level, if you're not used to thinking in the abstract. Psychics are. We've developed a common way of interpreting certain concepts but we still haven't developed words you can use aloud. But when non-psychics go through this kind of stuff, it's always a deeply personal thing. Your brain will use its own symbols to help you figure out what's going on."

"This is getting deep."

"Must sound like it, huh?" she smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry Bri. You'll figure it out. Nick knows you. Once he realises you're trying to talk to him, he should be able to at least communicate with you in a way you'll understand."

"But how do I start?"

She stood up. "Take the chair."

He obeyed and looked up at her, waiting. She glanced over at Nick for a moment, he could see the wheels in her head turning. He followed her gaze. His friend seemed so fragile, dwarfed by the machines, even the plump pillows on the bed looked about to swallow up his head. Instinctively, Brian reached for the hand Mindi had been holding when he arrived. "It's all right, Frack. I'm here."

He didn't notice Mindi note the gesture and nod. "All right. If you had any practice with meditation, we'd do it that way. Since you don't, I'm going to put you in a trance myself. Just simple hypnosis, you'll have enough going on in your head without me in there as well."

"Ok," he didn't take his eyes off Nick. "I'm ready."

Mindi's voice resumed an ultra-calm tone. In a slow, steady voice she began to speak. "I want you to close your eyes. Close your eyes and relax. Let go of any worries, any fears, just let go of everything but the sound of my voice and the feel of Nick's hand. Visualize a staircase that goes deep within you. Slowly, go down that staircase. Down, one step at a time. Deeper and deeper, away from everything that matters, except Nick. As you go down, think about Nick. Don't think about contacting him, just think about him. Let the memories come. Any images, doesn't have to be his face. Could be a favourite place, a pet... just things that somehow in some way are connected in your mind with Nick. The first time you met him. The smell of his house. Don't examine them too closely. Let them flow through your mind, fill it until all you can see, hear, smell, taste, feel, has to do with Nick."

She paused, examining Brian. "Relax," she instructed in a softer tone. "Don't worry about getting it right. Just keep remembering. A secret he told you. A fight you had. A game of one-on-one. The smell of his socks. The taste of his favourite food. The CD you really liked that he lost."

Brian cocked his head as if listening. His free hand began to slowly pat out a rhythm on his thigh.

"I think you can let him go, guys." The wind hit her in the face and the floor began to tremble beneath her feet. Brian didn't seem to notice.

* * *

Brian stood on a platform suspended in front of millions of monitors. It reminded him of the Get Down video, except on each monitor, a different memory of Nick played out. He turned and turned, looking for a moment at each. There were so many, and they all meant so much. There was the time he first met Nick, a tiny, scared kid. A food fight on the bus sometime. That horrible bus that used to make him throw up. The smell of Nick's vomit the first time he got really bombed. A girl they'd argued over, not noticing Howie had beat them both to the punch. The way he loved to show off his vocal trills. Anywhere For You. Aaron in the recording studio, singing along as Nick laid down a vocal. The glance they had shared when it was Aaron's turn, recording a song they'd written for him. A song....

Slowly each of the monitors flicked over to the same image. Nick's hands as he drummed something. Not one of their songs, an extended drum solo he'd written and had been perfecting during soundchecks over the past weeks. Drove Kevin nuts, mainly because Nick insisted it was a song without words, without any other instruments - a song with only drums.

As he watched, the monitors themselves buckled, twisted, resolved into one fourteen-inch monitor, still playing the same image, the same sounds. The ground beneath him vibrated to its rhythm as Brian walked towards it, fascinated. He was barely aware that he was surrounded by the orange fog from his dream. One hand brushed the surface of the monitor. For some reason, it felt like skin. He let it rest there for a moment. Then, he knocked.

The moment his knuckles hit the monitor, it transformed into a pane of plexiglass. The image he saw took his breath away. It was Nick. This was no memory, he knew. Not only did it feel sharp and clear, he'd never seen Nick in a prison uniform. He also hadn't met Nick when he was eight.

The very young Nick Carter looked lost. His hair was unwashed, he had dark circles under his eyes and sores on his mouth. The uniform hung off his thin frame. One hand played listlessly with the cuff which nearly swallowed it.

Getting over his shock, Brian knocked frantically. He almost wept as Nick's first reaction was to cower away in fear, but he kept knocking. Nick stayed huddled until, with a flash of inspiration, Brian raised both hands and began to beat out the pattern of Nick's song. Normally it was a feat far beyond Brian's memory or musical knowledge, but somehow, the song had seared itself into his mind and now seemed to flow out through his hands.

Nick raised his head inch by inch, something akin to hope in his eyes. They widened as he recognized his friend. He crept closer, as if not daring to believe it was happening. Brian smiled reassurance. "It's all right Frack," he repeated, still drumming. Tentatively, Nick extended a hand. He placed it flat against the plexiglass and closed his eyes, feeling the vibrations. They stayed like this for a while, savouring each other's company.

Finally, Nick's eyes opened again. Brian's hands stilled, one hand dropping to his side as he moved the other one to press against the point on the glass where his friend's hand lay. Their eyes met. Somewhere, deep inside almost navy blue eyes, Nick Carter smiled the tiniest of small smiles.


	26. Chapter 26

A.J. found Howie still sitting in his wheelchair, staring silently at the wall of his room. He entered slowly, closing the door quietly behind him. He wondered what exactly had happened, what Howie had done. Whatever it was, Howie was so wrapped up in it that he nearly jumped out of his skin when A.J. laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Yo D, chill!"

Howie looked up. "Oh, it's you," he responded woodenly.

"Thanks." A.J. grinned at his friend, but knew not to take his teasing any further. Howie could get very sensitive and now was not the time.

He returned to staring at the wall. "I... thought it might be Nick."

"Nick's awake??"

"Nick's... I don't know what's wrong with him, Bone." Howie confessed. "All I could do was sit there, yelling for a doctor, yelling at Mindi. I couldn't help him."

"Hey, not your fault." A.J. reassured him gently. "This is a weird situation for everybody. And you're not psychic."

"I should have helped him," he insisted. "I should have at least talked to him, tried to be there for him. Instead, I wallked away, left him alone with Mindi. I feel like such a jerk."

"What happened?"

"You don't know?" he looked up at his friend again.

A.J. shook his head. "Mindi just said there was trouble and Nick needed Brian. She told me you needed a friend."

"But Mindi was with Nick..." Howie protested. "She didn't leave him alone like that?"

"'Course not D. But you don't have to see Mindi to talk to her." A.J. tapped his temple.

"You *let* her..." Howie was clearly horrified.

A.J. sighed heavily. "Y'know bro, I'm startin' to see why Nick had such a huge problem hauling you out of the bus."

"Nick didn't..."

"Face it, Howie. He did." A.J. insisted, sitting on the bed that had been Kevin's. "I know you don't like it. I know it don't make a load of sense. But it's a fact. Who do you think asked me to sing you awake? You think I make a habit of just standin' around accident sites singing worse than a cat?"

"Nick's in a hospital bed having a seizure or something..."

"What?"

"Mindi says it's telekinesis." Kevin volunteered from the doorway.

"Telekinesis?" Howie questioned.

"Yeah, y'know, moving things with your mind."

"I *know* what it means, Train. Since when does Nick Carter, our Nicky, have telekinesis?"

"He emerged when he was thirteen."

"Jesus Christ, Lina!" A.J. gasped. "Kev, shut the door."

* * *

The three Backstreet Boys stared at the young woman who had appeared in their midst. Howie had gone pale, Kevin's mouth hung open... and A.J. was wavering between relief, anger and confusion. No one moved to shut the door, so Lina elected to shut it herself. It swung shut with a decisive click. She was still standing in the middle of the room.

"I'm upset," she stated calmly. "I'm upset and you two need some serious lessons in perspective, so I'm gonna tend to be dramatic."

"Lina..." A.J. began.

"Not now, Alex." Lina was very much in control of the situation. "You know I don't mess around. Just deal with my little extras. I may not have been here for the last while, but I do know what's been going on. And since this seems to be the only way I can help Nick, I'm gonna do what it takes."

"What's going on?" Howie asked, sounding more weary than anything else. He'd already had more than enough weirdness down in the ICU. To have a tall, bespectacled redhead standing in the middle of his room lecturing them... it made his head hurt.

Her expression softened a little. "I know you have a condition, and I'm sorry that we don't have time to deal with it properly. I'll go as lightly as I can." She turned to glare at Kevin. "But you!"

Her dark green eyes positively sparked and Kevin prayed for the floor to just swallow him up. It didn't happen.

""If it wasn't for Nick you'd be dead where you stand, Richardson," she growled. "I'm hoping he didn't horribly misjudge you. I'm hoping that it's just a knee-jerk reaction that has you shoving him away so violently. I'm hoping all this, because if he did misjudge you, he's going to pay heavily for the mistake. And then I'm going to take the exact same amount out of you."

A.J. decided he had had enough. Lina, for whatever her reasons, had disappeared after the accident, and no one seemed to want to talk about her. Now she was here, laying into them. He had the distinct feeling she was full of talk."You didn't come here to lecture us," he interrupted her, "I'm guessing you came to help Nick."

She looked at him for a moment, then nodded in acceptance. "I did. I can't play much of an active role this time, but I think I have the best chance of anyone to get you all to at least understand where Nick is coming from. And if I can get you that far, you might just be able to save him."

"What about Brian?"

"He's going to know far more than he needs to when he's finished down there. Now sit down. I've got a long story to tell."


	27. Chapter 27

"I've known Nick for as long as he's been psychic, which is actually not as long as Howie or A.J. has known him. Most psychic tendancies don't emerge until puberty. Nick was a little early but not drastically so. It was a full moon sometime around his thirteenth birthday. Maybe a little before, maybe a little after. I forget," she shrugged, playing with her ponytail.

"Anyway, he just exploded. I was reading a book and suddenly there was this electricity in the air. The book ended up across the room. I believe our first communication consisted of the words "What the fuck was that?" If his first act had been telekinetic, I think either his school or his house would have ended up in flames." Kevin winced and she frowned.

"Like most kids, especially the ones who emerge spectacularly, he was pretty scared of himself for a few weeks. Scratch that, he was terrified of what was going on. He didn't know how to set up any mental defenses, or how to keep himself from doing any telekninesis... He collapsed in school the first day." Howie reached for A.J. as the two of them relived another time Nick had collapsed, and wondered.

"Luckily that made my job that much easier. I was still in high school but I had a free period every day, so I was free to drop in and coach him while he was home, 'sick'. At first he only accepted my help because it was the fastest way to shut out the voices and feelings that were driving him insane. I scared him. You all know Nick's imagination though. Eventually, the idea of other psychics fascinated him."

"When I taught him how to hook into the Net, basically the psychic version of the world wide web, a whole new world opened up for him. Suddenly there were people who didn't dismiss him because he was too young, and encouraged his talents instead of ridiculing him. The amount of power he wielded got him some respect, and he soon figured out that control would get him **more**... so he studied."

"As a kid he was always hungry for acceptance, and he got it in spades from psychics, who are pretty tolerant of each other, and know the value of emotional support. Plus, being in on rescues and work, he got to feel pretty good about himself. By jumping in with both feet he cut himself off even more from the 'real world', but he didn't seem to mind the way a lot of teens do. At the time he didn't really have that many people to hide from."

"I didn't have the most wonderful childhood myself, so our talks soon turned to more than just psychic matters. We've got a lot in common and we became friends, despite the age difference, which seemed like a big thing to him at the time."

"In the middle of all this, the opportunity for the group came along. He talked about it endlessly, telling me what he knew about A.J. and Howie. When he decided to join, I began hearing stories of getting teased, and about this older guy who was picking on him." Lina grinned a little, "You should probably blame me for some of his pranks. We spent hours dreaming them up."

"He thought about telling you all. At first it was a shining secret, a weapon in the prank wars, and something that made him special. The kind of thing he could smile secretly over. Eventually he started to trust you all, feel like part of the family. He finally had friends he didn't have to hide. Every so often he'd have to lie fast and creatively to you. It broke his heart when you all sympathised over him not even looking old enough to get into clubs, volunteered to stay behind and always asked how his night had been."

"A couple of times he nearly did break down and tell Brian. But every time he was going to, things came up." She sighed, staring off into space. "Nick's strongest talent is being able to connect psychics with non-psychics, so he's involved in a lot of mediations, family counseling, that sort of thing. He's heard it all. Husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, parents and children who rejected the psychic in their family. For someone who doesn't trust easily, having the idea that there are no guarantees reinforced every week didn't make him want to try."

"He trusted you with so much, more than almost anyone, and loved you all a lot. Enough that he didn't want to know, didn't want to put you to the test, until he had to." Her voice was breaking, and A.J. could see the tears in her eyes. He was sure there was more to the story, at least for her, but kept quiet. "But it's not a test. It's an all or nothing gamble now. He wants your love and acceptance so badly, if you can't give it to him, he might never wake up. You've got so much power over him right now. He feels everything you think or feel about him, the negative things louder than the rest. He's always been good at beating himself up..." Lina broke down sobbing. A.J. moved to her, hugging her sympathetically. As she cried he heard her whisper, "Why?"


	28. Chapter 28

What hit Kevin most was the timeline. At the same time as he'd been trying to adjust to one new life as part of the Backstreet Boys, Nick had been dealing with yet another new life as a psychic. How had he managed to develop any trust with them at all while keeping such a large chunk of himself secret? He thought back to the power he'd seen unleashed in the ICU, and wondered how any of them had managed to escape some very nasty revenge in return for some of their worst teasing in the early days.

More and more as he stood listening, he began to realise that Nick's life as a psychic, especially the need to keep that life a secret, had had an effect on the young man's character, an effect that probably started before the two of them had ever met. He remembered Nick's anger at his teenage clumsiness and wondered how much of that was frustration at not being able to do things physically that he could probably do much more easily through telekinesis. His need to be alone so much was certainly explained.

This revelation swept his fears away. The 'stranger' he'd been thinking about didn't exist. If anything, knowing Nick was psychic opened an avenue to better understanding things he already knew about his friend. He still had a lot to learn, and it still hurt that Nick hadn't been able to trust him... but maybe things would be okay after all.

* * *

The scene with Mindi earlier had made Howie feel guilty enough. What Lina was telling them only half sunk in, and didn't really address his aversion to the idea of things floating around, or disembodied voices. Instead he pondered something else she'd said "I know you have a condition."

She'd sounded horribly sympathetic, as if he was dying or something. Whatever it was, it had gotten him out of being attacked the way she'd gone after Kevin. He glanced over at Kevin, who now looked a combination of guilty and intrigued. At least the lecture had done some good for someone. Kev wouldn't brood on the guilty part for long, he'd just get interested. Now, Howie supposed it was his turn. But he couldn't help it. The thought of someone in his head made him squeamish.

* * *

Lina's sobs quietened. She seemed to be pulling herself together and about to speak again, when she was interrupted by a whoosh of air. Mindi and Brian appeared in the room, prompting a startled squeak from Howie. Lina's mood improved fast.

"It worked," she stated with a grin.

Brian raised an eyebrow. "I haven't even told Mindi anything yet."

"It worked." Mindi confirmed. "Nick quit with the telekinesis, and just in time."

"In time?" Lina and Brian chorused followed by Lina's. "Oh. Nice save."

"Aloud?" A.J. prompted.

"Leslie, Aaron and Jane Carter just arrived in the ICU," Mindi explained. "We had to make a quick exit. Sorry Howie."

"Okay can someone explain why the..." Howie gestured helplessly, seeking a word "...attitude?"

"Mindi why don't you handle that while I take Brian somewhere quiet?" Lina volunteered. "From the vibe I'm getting, he was as successful as we'd hoped, maybe a little more, which means he really doesn't need to be around people right now. Later on I'll feed you what happened between Brian and Nick."

"What did I tell you?" Mindi mock demanded of A.J. "They've got me working with them now."

Lina rolled her eyes and grabbed Brian's hand. "You chose the spokesperson role, live with it." She and Brian disappeared.

"There goes one of the most arrogant, controlling psychics on the planet. Who probably heard me."

"She cares about Nick, though." A.J. put in.

"True. How badly did she bully you?"

"Beat up on me a little," Kevin admitted ruefully. "But she did help me understand some things."

"You're on board now?"

"I'm...dealing with it," was the honest answer.

"I'm still not. And she apologized to me. What's going on??" Howie insisted.


	29. Chapter 29

"I'm guessing Lina went after the easy one first." Mindi pulled up a chair and sat directly in front of Howie. "It's much easier to convince someone out of their fears and beliefs than to deal with your problem."

"I uh, think he's pretty scared too." A.J. volunteered.

"No he's not," she contradicted. "It's a symptom. Howie's one of a very few people who's allergic to psychic energy."

"I'm *what*?"

"Allergic. Nick probably discovered it on the bus. Remember Alex sang you awake?"

"We all remember that." Kevin drawled. "I wouldn't call it 'singing' exactly.."

"Nick should have been able to wake you himself. Because your mind shied away from psychic contact, he needed that outside help... both to wake you up and distract you while he got you out."

"Someone thanked me for taking his mind off things so they could get him asleep. Same thing?"

"Uh huh," she nodded. "What Howie feels as fear or squeamishness about telepathy, telekinesis and that sort of thing, is actually a defensive mechanism his brain has set up to keep him away from something that's unhealthy for him."

"So if he's allergic..." A.J. pondered this, "...how are we going to get him to help pull Nick out?"

"That's the sixty-four thousand dollar question."

Howie paled. "You need me to wake Nicky?"

"All four of you," she turned to look at Kevin. "Which is part of why Lina went apeshit on you. If she couldn't change your mind, there wasn't much point in working on Howie."

"Yelling at me was gonna change my mind?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Well no," Mindi shrugged, "but look at it from her position. Her partner is lying unconscious in a hospital bed and for once she can't help him. You can and you didn't want to. I've seen your temper, Kev. What would you do if things were reversed?"

A.J. grinned. "Take a swing at her."

"Okay okay. So... Howie?"

"Depends how bad it is. Considering he's spent so much time around Nick for so long, I don't think it's fatal. But you've been around a lot of psychic activity for two days... how are you feeling, besides scared?"

"Confused. Still not really sure what to believe."

"All right. Brian's bought us some time, so here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to walk out of here and take a cab back to the hotel. Could at least one of you stay here and keep Howie company?"

"I'll do it. You probably need to talk to Kristin." A.J volunteered.

"Yeah, I do." Kevin shook his head. "Since when do you remember that kind of thing? I thought that was my job?"

"Someone had to step in, bro."

"Whatever. Kevin and I can split a cab. Just... try to be as normal as possible for a few hours. Keep Howie away from the ICU, leave the room if you need to talk to me or any other psychic."

"Clean out my system?" Howie asked in a sceptical tone."Pretend things are normal?"

"You're catching on. Call home or something. Play a board game. I'll check in later and see how things are. See ya." With that she got up and left. Kevin looked from Howie, to the door and back again. Finally he shrugged, waved and followed her out.

"How does she just turn it off like that?" Howie wondered. "How does she expect me to just forget about it all?"

"'Cause you have to. So, what do you want to do? Wheelchair races? Play lose-the-bodyguard? Go toss things out the window for the fans?"

"Bone..." his friend just shook his head.


	30. Chapter 30

When things settled down again, Brian realised Lina had taken him back to his hotel room. She saw the puzzled expression on his face and laughed.

"It's not all special effects and fancy tricks, Frick. Even a special ops case like this one can get mundane at times."

"Could you not call me that?" he asked quietly.

Lina sobered immediately. "Sorry. I pick up a lot of his habits."

They were both silent for a moment. Lina roamed around the room restlessly, while Brian sat on the bed and picked at the counterpane. He was beginning to be aware of the sensation of being connected to Nick. His own thoughts seemed to echo a little and it was a little hard to focus. When he really concentrated, he could feel a peculiar buzzing in the back of his mind. Seeking a distraction, he opened his mouth to speak.

"So..."

"So..." Lina began almost simultaneously. They laughed. "Go first," she invited.

"So uh, why here?"

"If anyone comes looking for you, you can answer the phone or the door," was the simple answer. "Easy cover up. As to why so fast, the less you see of the people that are already feeding Nick emotions, the better; otherwise he'll get some stuff double. Also, Howie doesn't handle psychic activity well and you're in a really weird psychic place right now. So that was as much for Howie's good as for Nick's."

"Oh." Lina watched him digest this for a while.

"Well, that answers *my* question."

"Huh?"

"Remember? I was going to ask you a question?"

"Ummm."

"You're plenty spacey. A good sign, for now. If you need to focus, just talk it out. I won't mind."

"Why are you still here?"

"Waiting for you to be ready to talk about what happened when you tried to contact Nick. And... this is as close as I can get to Nick without hurting him." She turned to look out the window. Even spaced-out, Brian picked up on the fact that there was a lot going on he didn't know about.

"I won't ask. I probably wouldn't understand the answers," he told her, following her advice, which did seem to clear his head a little."If you're close to Nick, you're probably not going to like what I saw."

Her back stiffened, then relaxed. "I know," she replied softly. "But part of the point of having you go in there was to see how he was. And it's probably not as bad as my nightmares."

"All right. I could use some water." He walked over to the mini bar and opened it. "Want anything?"

"I'm okay."

He took a swig of water, then began the story.

* * *

A few hours later, Kevin, A.J. and Brian sat together in the hotel restaurant. Some of Howie's family had arrived earlier, giving A.J. a break from taking care of him. Lina had left not long ago, after a conference with Mindi. Dinner had been fairly silent, with everyone caught in their own little worlds.

Kevin put down his fork, and cleared his throat. The other two looked at him.

"It's just the five of us again."

"Huh?" A.J. looked over his sunglasses.

"Haven't you noticed? Even with Denise back with us, the Carters here, and Mindi mixed up with things.. all of Nick's team.. it's down to the five of us. Ever since we started this group, no matter what happens, it's like the world goes crazy around us and we've only got each other."

"I'm sure Kristin would be pleased to hear *that*."

"He's right... I think." Brian struggled to marshall his thoughts. Aaron had hung around his big brother for quite a while earlier, sending Brian a wave of Nick's emotions he hadn't fully recovered from. "The great thing about Leigh Anne, Kristin, and... "

"Amanda." A.J. supplied patiently. Brian's condition had been explained.

"Her. One of the good things about them is that they understand that. Leigh Anne is my life, and she knows that. But she also understands that when it comes to the group, there are some things that I share with you guys that she will never get."

"That's what I meant," Kevin agreed. "And here we are again. From what I can piece together, the only way to pull Nick out of this is to pull together, as a group. I bet you a hundred bucks not one of the other psychics will know exactly what goes on when we get into Nick's head."

A.J. held his tongue, but couldn't help wondering if Lina would somehow know. Fortunately the ringing of his cell phone saved him from making any kind of reply.

"Yo?"

"Bone?" It was Howie. "Pollyanna just left. I wouldn't mind the company..."

"Sure D, no problem. I'm on my way." He hung up. "He sounds fine. Maybe it's time to call Mindi again?"

"If one of you pays the bill, I'll go find her." Brian volunteered. "I'm not supposed to go near Howie right now."

"You're not supposed to go near us, and here you are." Kevin pointed out.

His only answer was a shrug. "Where else was I supposed to go?"

"Good answer." A.J. replied quietly. "Kev, you better follow him, make sure he doesn't space out and get lost or something."

"Right. We'll meet you at the hospital."


	31. Chapter 31

Mindi was waiting for the elevator when Brian and Kevin arrived on her floor. She stepped in with them, hitting the button for the lobby.

"A.J. thinks loud."

"Ah," Kevin responded, as if this was the most natural explanation in the universe.

"So you think it's time?" Brian asked, mainly for his own benefit. "Should I stay here?"

"I want you in the hospital. You can stay in the ICU until someone comes down."

"Okay."

They managed to catch A.J. as he was getting into a cab. He held the door open while the others piled in, then climbed in afterward and gave the address.

"Mins, exactly what are we doing now?" he wanted to know.

"A few simple tests to find out how severe Howie's allergies are."

"Tests?" Kevin's eyebrows went north.

"Don't look like that Kev, I'm not going to dissect him. Mostly questions," she reassured him.

"The Spanish Inquisition?" A.J. suggested. The other occupants of the car just looked at him. "What? Nick would have gotten it."

* * *

Suzanne met them just inside the main doors of the hospital and escorted Brian away to the ICU.

"Is he really that fragile?" Kevin wondered.

"Not fragile, confused." Mindi watched them go. "He's getting too much information that's not his own. If things go smoothly he'll be fine after a nap, once this is over."

"Train we've come too far for second-guessing *now..."

Kevin conceded the point. They moved on to Howie's room. He seemed much more at ease than Kevin had seen him last; propped up comfortably against fluffly white pillows, his hair tied back... an air of well-being surrounded him. His family had apparently brought him the Orlando Sentinel to read. Section were strewn across the sheets.

"Hey, Sweet D! Whazzup!" A.J. noticed the change in Howie's mood immediately.

"The chart position of Polly's single." Howie announced with a grin. "Oh and Kev, the doctor wants to talk to you tomorrow."

"Hopefully the doctor will want to talk to Nick tomorrow," Mindi smiled.

"We're gonna try tonight?" he sighed, pushing the newspaper to the floor. "Okay. What do you want me to do?"

"Not much. I already know psychic energy won't kill you, and you've lived around a powerful psychic for years, so you have no problem touching one of us. Now I have to find out just how much of a problem you have with direct mind-to-mind."

"And how're we gonna do that?" A.J. asked, still upbeat.

"Twenty questions."

"You're kidding."

"Ok, so there's a little more to it, but that's all you'll see. I'm going to monitor Howie while I ask him things, see how he reacts."

"Just questions?" Howie relaxed a little.

"For now." At this less-than-reassuring reply, Howie reached for A.J.'s hand. A.J. squeezed back.

"It's for Nick."

"Right." Howie swallowed and nodded. "Okay."

"First, have you ever been sick for pretty much no reason? Violently ill with no real explanation?"

He thought hard, but shook his head. "I don't think so. Bone?"

It was Kevin who answered. "This might be nothing, but his alcohol tolerance can get really low sometimes. Once or twice when we've been out together one beer was all it took to get him really tipsy."

Mindi seemed to be staring at a point somewhere above and behind Howie's head. "Hmmm. Don't suppose you remember dates?"

"Now that I think of it, my birthday. Not the last one, the year before." A.J. put in. "January 9, 2000. I thought maybe it was just because of the whole Johnny Suede party-hard atmosphere, but I don't actually remember him having that much."

"He did *what* that day? Well no wonder."

Kevin shot A.J. a puzzled glance.

"She calls it 'verbalising'. I think she's talking to someone," he tapped his temple.

"Nick did some pretty major work that night. Any memorable hangover that morning, Howie?"

He shrugged. "I think I'd remember a really miserable one."

"Short-term effects even with that much activity," she mused. "What about here at the hospital. Concussion and cracked ribs notwithstanding."

"I was getting a headache a little earlier. When that girl... Lina? When she was here."

"Yeah. I suspect that was a cumulative effect. Too much psychic activity over a short period of time."

"Mindi you're starting to sound like a doctor."

"Hmm? Oh psychic ailments are my specialty. I didn't say?"

"Nope."

"Well they are. Let's see..." she considered her options carefully. "Interesting. Any headache now, Howie?"

"No. Just.." he chuckled. "Someone walked over my grave."

"Ok. And now?"

He frowned. "Mindi what are you doing?"

"Trying to make conta... woah that was fast!"

"What?"

"The second you consciously clued in to what I was doing, snap! Completely shut out."

"I did???"

"Oh yeah. I could get through it if I really needed to, but we'd each end up with a massive headache." Mindi sounded impressed.

"Wow."

"That's bad, right?" Kevin clarified.

"It could be good. If he can convince himself he *needs* to contact someone, he might be able to do it."

"So what now?"

"We convince him."


	32. Chapter 32

Kevin, A.J. and Howie all looked at each other.

"I hope you don't mean 'convince' the way some movie villains do," Howie joked nervously.

"Yes Howie, I'm going to have you put on the rack." Mindi dripped sarcasm. "Free will is a big part of pulling Nick back to reality. If you have doubts, you could sabotage the whole thing. Frankly, I'd like to leave you out for a few weeks, but the longer Nick's stuck inside himself the harder it gets to pull him out and the more help he's going to need to recover afterwards. Also, he needs all four of you."

"Mins, you're just making him nervous."

"I know," she sighed. "I guess the best thing for me to do is call Brian up. If you hear what Nick's going through right now... trust me, you're going to want to get him out of there fast."

"I thought you didn't want him..." A.J. broke off his question, wondering if it fell into the 'waste of time' category.

"We're going to try it. Howie, if you feel weird at any point, *say so* and I'll send him out. Incidentally, feel anything just then?"

"No, don't think so."

"Looks like direct contact is really all that bothers you. No wonder it took Nick so long to figure it out."

"There are people who have it worse?" Kevin inquired.

"Much. Some people would pass out just being in the same room as Nick. And while that's normal for your fans," she grinned, " it might have created some problems if it happened to a group member."

"No...really?" It was A.J's. turn for sarcasm.

"This way it only threatens Nick's life." Kevin murmured.

"What are we going to have to do once we fix this?" Howie asked, trying to stay positive.

"I'll put those two to sleep and one of Nick's team will help them connect to Brian. He knows the way, has some idea of what to expect, so he's going to lead you in. I'm going to connect you to Brian myself. I can't knock you unconscious, so you're going to be their anchor by default."

"Anchor?" but Brian had arrived.

He looked a little dizzy and kept blinking as if seeing double. "Um... Suzanne said..."

"Rok, sit *down*!" Kevin barked, trying to get up out of his own chair to offer it to his cousin. A.J., being more mobile, grabbed Brian and led him to a chair.

"B-rok, you okay?" Howie worried.

Brian made an effort and pulled himself together. "I'll be ok, D. I was talkin' to Nick. It's a little hard to come back."

"How's he doing?"

"Glad to see me, upset we can't do more than stare at each other. Still can't even touch me." Brian shook his head. "Don't know how much more he can take."

"What's it like?" Howie asked in hushed tones.

"Prison." Brian didn't mince words. "Cement blocks, barely enough space to pace in, one small window. No door."

A.J. blanched.

"Nick?" Howie pressed, knowing he needed to hear the truth.

"Pale. Underfed. Bruised. Dirty. Scared shitless. And so young."

"Young??"

"Eight, maybe ten years old. Lot younger than when we met," he closed his eyes. "He was scared of me the first time he saw me. Tried to hide, as if he thought I was going to hit him... me!" The bitter tone of his voice spoke volumes.

A.J. turned to Mindi, "Where did the bruises come from, Mins?"

"You guys," she told him bluntly. "Anyone he's connected to strongly enough to still feel. He's caught in a prison of hopelessness, self-pity and guilt that none of you have helped him fight against. The scars and bruises are every negative thing he's felt since this whole thing happened, compounded with his own negative interpretation of a few other things."

"We did that to him??" Brian stared at her. "No wonder he's still nervous with me."

"You did it to him. Now, he's so hurt and confused he can't get out, even though he's starting to realise it's possible you still love him."

"I... guys we gotta get him out." Howie blurted.


	33. Chapter 33

Fortunately for everyone, Mindi was right. Once Howie made up his mind that psychic contact was necessary, things became easier. After a few tries, Mindi was able to make brief contact with a very pale Howie. He all but collapsed back against his pillows as he pushed Mindi away. They were both breathing a little heavily.

"Twenty seconds," she panted. "Not bad."

"How long am I going to have to hold it?" Howie groaned.

"About five minutes."

"FIVE MINUTES!!!" they chorused.

"How is that going to be long enough?" Kevin demanded.

"I don't know if I can hold it *one* minute," was Howie's breathless protest.

"We'll work on it." Mindi asured him, grim determination filling her voice and posture.

"But five minutes?" Kevin persisted. A.J. had learned to trust Mindi in these matters and Brian was having trouble stringing a sentence together, but both looked interested in her reply.

"You're working at the speed of thought," she reminded them, slightly exasperated. "If you're in there much past five minutes, it's pretty much a lost cause."

"Oh." All four group members deflated a little at that thought.

"Look, you're starting to get wound up over this," Mindi pointed out.

"'Starting to'?"

"Alex, you're *not helping*. Look, we can't do this until after evening rounds. Both of you get lost 'til then. Go call your wife or something."

Chastened, both men slunk out of the room. A.J. didn't even pause to point out that he had no wife to call. Mindi waited until the sound of Kevin's crutches had faded away before speaking again.

This time her voice was more gentle, "B-rok?" Brian raised his head to look at her. "Holding up?"

He shrugged, as if supporting a heavy weight. "It's hard. I keep reminding myself that Nick's depressed, not me. But...don't let me up on the roof."

"You're fighting it the wrong way," she advised. "Cheer him up. Keep letting him know you're there. Tell him things will be okay. Let him know exactly who's coming."

"Thanks."

"He's suicidal?" Howie was horrified.

"Not really." Brian struggled to explain. "He feels pretty hopeless, bleak. It's tempting to just...make all that go away."

"I warned you it would mess you up." Mindi reminded him.

"I know. It was worth it to.. the look on his face when he understood it was me, that I *wasn't* going to hurt him. I'm hanging on to that picture."

"Howie, are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine. Don't send him away." Having Brian around made him feel safe; if Brian could get inside Nick's head and come back, maybe they all could.

* * *

"Okay then, let's try this again.."

An hour later, A.J. interrupted yet another attempt at contact with a sharp rap on the door. "Heads up peeps! MDs on the move!"

"Was that in English?" Brian wanted to know.

"Doctors' rounds." Mindi checked her watch. "Well Howie, you may pass out afterwards but that was four minutes and thirty-two seconds."

"The doctors aren't going to be happy," Howie observed with a wan smile.

"Oh they'll be fine. Your ribs are healing nicely," she patted his knee and stood up. "We're not here. We left a while ago."

"Uh... Okay."

The doctors walked in, Mindi grabbed Brian and coolly walked right by them. Not a single physician seemed to notice.

"Neat trick," A.J. commented, falling into step. "Teach me?"

"Like you ever wanted to be ignored," Mindi scoffed.

"Downstairs..." Brian got confused, stopped and started over. "Nick, when I came to see you the first time, Mindi, Jacob and Lina were guarding you. I think they were doing the same thing she just did here."

"Right," she nodded, skipping over the fact that Brian wasn't speaking to her directly. "Power of suggestion. Works on just about anyone. All you have to do is project a very strong general, "Everything is normal here" feeling and people will see what they expect to see. The more bizarre the thing you're hiding, the easier it is -- denial is most people's first answer to any problem."

"A... " Brian hesitated, "a SEP field? That just popped into my head."

She chuckled. "Jacob says that's what Nick calls it. You're getting some more specific feedback from him - like how you knew Jacob and Lina were helping me with it in the ICU. Glad we're going to do this soon."

_ Check out Douglas Adams "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" series to find out about a SEP field. _


	34. Chapter 34

Mindi left to make some preparations, so A.J. led Brian along the hall to where Kevin was talking quietly to Kristin. With nothing else to do, his mind wandered. After a few moments of staring at Brian, only half-hearing Kevin's low tones, A.J. realised the only sound he could hear was Kevin's voice. The hospital was virtually silent, at rest. It was almost hard to believe people were fighting for their lives. He looked at Brian, staring off into space, listening to some inner voice, maybe Nick's. What was Nick telling him? Did he know how soon the fight for his life would begin? Would they be able to win? A draft of air woke him from his reverie; Mindi stood waiting.

"Gotta say good night babe. We're gonna check on Nick one last time." Kevin said into the phone, clicked it off and handed it to A.J. "Time?"

Mindi nodded, "Now or never."

In an almost ceremonial silence they followed her back to Howie's room. He was propped up into a full sitting position, looking a little grey. A chair was set up next to his bed and an empty cot stood at the foot of what had been Kevin's bed.

"Let's do this," he announced quietly.

"Kevin, Alex, bed." Mindi instructed, closing the door behind them. "Suzanne?"

"Ready and waiting," the older woman replied, appearing next to Kevin. She helped him manage his cast as he got onto the bed.

"Verbalising from here on in," Mindi announced. The guys noticed a bit of echo in her tone as if she was speaking through a microphone. "Howie just... try and ignore things for now." He nodded weakly.

"Brian... Brian wake up!" Brian struggled, then managed to focus on her. "Tell Nick you need to go away for a while, but you'll be back. I need *you* here right now."

"I'll try."

"Suzanne do you think Lina..." but she was cut off by a firm shake of Suzanne's head. "Never mind. Brian try hard." He shook himself, took a deep breath and nodded. "Good. I'm going to seal the door. Suzanne will tell you what to do next."

* * *

Howie bit his lip as the fear began to rise again. He recognised it as a symptom of his psychic allergy and fought against it. "This is really happening," he told himself. "Face up to it, dammit!" Instead of ignoring what was going on around him, he began to watch closely.

While Mindi busied herself running her hands over the door, he paid closer attention to Brian and Suzanne. They were standing next to Kevin's bed. Brian reached for his cousin's hand while Suzanne put a hand on Kevin's forehead. He went out like a light, snoring lightly to Howie's great amusement. Then they moved on to A.J.. Bone raised his head and winked at Howie.

"Hang in there D. See ya soon!"

He waved a little as Brian and Suzanne repeated the procedure.

"Ok, now I'm going to send you down to Jacob and Nick in the ICU," Suzanne told Brian. "Jacob will keep an eye on you there, I'll watch these two and Mindi will take care of Howie."

"What about Nick?"

"If anything happens Nick will be dealt with before we're even aware there is anything wrong," she replied cryptically. "When you get down there, just sit down and send yourself down those stairs Mindi told you about. Wait for the others before you go to Nick."

"And then?"

"Help him fight his way out. He has to help too. When you need to come back, look at Howie. He'll take you out."

"That's it?"

She shrugged, "You know better than I do what you're going to see. Just remember that forcing yourself into Nick's prison, or forcing him out, isn't going to work. He has to help himself."

"I'll remember." And Brian was gone. Suzanne pulled a chair close to both of her charges, closed her eyes and became still as a statue.

"Ok kiddo." Mindi sat down in front of him. "Just you and me left. Nervous?"

"Uh huh."

"I'd say take deep breaths but I don't think your ribs would thank me."

He managed a grin.

"Before I take you in, one thing you need to know. You're going to be the last one in and the first one out. Don't try to do too much. If you see something that looks like a way out, a door or a big window or something, it's your job to keep it open. You're the anchor."

"Why me?"

"Because you're actually going to be semi-conscious for all of this; your allergies won't let you in completely and they'll make it easy for you to come out. Your job is to make sure you lead everyone out with you."

"Ooookay."

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Focus on my eyes. Just keep looking right down deep into my pupils... that's it. Keep staring... relax..... good.. relax... if you start seeing pictures in there, just go with it."

Mindi's pupils seemed to dilate.. growing wider and wider. Three tiny forms grew and resolved into the shapes of his bandmates, two dimensional, but quite real. They were all looking at him expectantly.

"_D? You with us?_" A.J.'s voice was a little faint, but clear.

"Sort of."

"_You're fuzzy._" Brian observed.

"You're on a TV screen," he returned. "Mindi told me I can't come in completely. Guess this is as good as it gets."

"_All righty then,_" Brian shrugged. "_Let's get going._"


	35. Chapter 35

"Uh, where, exactly?" A.J. wanted to know. He peered at the orange mist that surrounded them. "Or are you seein' something I ain't?"

"Just mist." Brian confirmed. "But I came from that way," he pointed behind himself, "and I always just keep goin' forward."

"Okay then," Kevin started to move forward, then stopped. "I'm stuck."

"You're level with me," his cousin explained. "Y'all are in my brain, so I have to go first." He moved forward and sure enough, Kevin came unstuck.

"Since when are you the expert on this kind of stuff?" Howie asked, falling into step with A.J. a few paces behind Brian.

"It's not me, it's Nick. I can't talk to him, but I sort of... pick up stuff he knows" was the reply. "Ask *him* about it when we get him out of here."

"I'm makin' a list, believe me." A.J. muttered.

They slogged on in silence for a while. Brian couldn't help noticing that it was harder to move than before - was it because he was pulling the others with him, or because time was somehow running out for Nick? He shivered and tried to repress the second thought. He noticed Howie begin to slow down.

"D? You okay?" he asked, worried. Howie didn't look nearly as solid as A.J. or Kevin... more like the final scene in the A-Ha video. It was hard to tell if the condition was getting worse or not.

"Yeah..." Howie nodded. "Well, I wish we could make this a little easier..."

"Try thinking about Nick while you walk.. or whatever it is you're doing," he suggested. "The first time, Mindi got me to remember everything I could about him, bad and good. Now, I sort of know the way, but I guess you don't yet."

"Yet." Kevin groaned, "If he ever makes us do this again..."

"What?" A.J. demanded.

"I'll... throw him out of the dressing room in his underwear again." They all laughed remembering that particular incident.

"Remember how he squealed?" Brian chuckled.

"Him?? Who could hear him over the girls!" A.J. grinned.

"Serves him right," Howie grumbled. "All that stuff he tried to get me to eat while I was sleeping. I could have choked!"

Kevin laughed, "He wasn't the only one in on that game."

"Richardson?"

He threw up his hands in a not-me gesture. "Hey I just watched, man."

Brian diverted attention away from himself quickly. "But then again D, you still treat him like a little brother."

"He *is* the youngest," Howie defended himself.

"Still... you ever even notice the daggers you get every time you call him 'Nicky' in public?"

"You kidding? That's half the reason I do it!"

"Aww, Sweet D's fallen for the killer Carter eyes." A.J. mocked.

"Yeah, those baby blues..." Howie responded in a girly voice. He pretended to faint, "I just go absolutely... hello!"

A pair of deep blue eyes looked down at him.

"Nicky?" he gasped, reaching for the bodiless eyes. They hung in the air, unresponsive.

"I think we're getting there. One of your memories, D?"

"No, mine" A.J. volunteered, then fell silent. They continued to move forward.

"Do you remember meeting Nick?" Kevin asked, breaking the silence.

"Not really. I remember him at a couple of auditions, but I couldn't tell you which one was the first." Howie mused.

"Me neither. But I remember the first time we sang together. What a voice!" A.J. grinned, "Never met a kid so blonde with so much soul."

"What did you used to sing?" Brian wanted to know, "When it was just the three of you, I mean?"

"Anything. Audition pieces, stuff on the radio..."

"100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall..."

"Oh man, I forgot about that!" Howie began to laugh.

"Tell us, Bone" Brian encouraged, hoping for a happy memory.

"We were sitting around at this audition. Me and Howie, we'd been there since six.. just waiting. It was one in the afternoon and the casting director... dude was out to lunch, literally. Maybe fifteen kids had gone in before lunch and five times that were waitin'!"

"All scrunched up in one room."

"Uh huh. I was bored out of my skull and mad at the casting people for taking so long, so I decided to be obnoxious."

"He opens his mouth and starts singing 100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, loudly."

"But good." A.J. pointed out. "Howie's sittin' beside me, dying of embarassment, tryin' to shut me up. Mom is probably as pissed off as I am so she lets me sing. I get to ninety-seven... and a familiar voice picks up the harmony. It's Nick, somewhere across the room. People are staring now, some snickering."

"I joined in eventually. We got to seventy before they finally kicked the three of us out. Mrs Carter was *mad*..."

"I can't imagine anyone singing 100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall well. We always sang it at the top of our lungs, as off-key and obnoxious as possible," Kevin remarked, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

With a wink at Howie, A.J. launched into the song, somehow making it sound like something right out of Rogers and Hammerstein. Still grinning, Howie followed. Brian found his note and went for it as well. Soon 100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall was having its debut perfomance in four-part harmony.


	36. Chapter 36

At first, only Brian noticed the window which appeared with a shy face pressed up against it. He waved encouragingly but Nick shook his head in silence. A.J. noticed next and elbowed Howie. (They were both a little weirded out by the consequences of that as A.J. saw his elbow go *through* Howie, and Howie who still percieved himself as an observer rather than a participant, felt a phantom nudge against his ribs.)

Both of them stared long and hard at the small figure watching them sing. He looked like something out of Dickens, a malnourished, mistreated youth who saw something that reminded him of happier days. Howie focused on Nick's face, trying to see his eyes, but the more he tried, the more Nick seemed to shrink away from him.

Suddenly he felt Brian's hand on his shoulder. "Don't push it, D. You're scaring him."

"Scaring him?" The four part harmony, already struggling, broke down. "But I'm not doing anything."

"You're approaching him," Kevin pointed out.

"I am?" He looked from Nick to Kevin and back again. He *was* closer to Nick, who was now cowering back from the window. "I guess the 'zoom' button means 'walk towards'," he joked weakly.

"It's okay Frack," Brian reassured the child gently. "You know them. They didn't mean to hurt you." His words had no effect. Nick remained frozen, a deer in headlights.

"Y'know the window doesn't look that strong," Kevin offered. " I could probably break it. We could yank him out."

"No." Brian was firm. "He has to want to come out."

"How do we convince him to do that when he's terrified of us?"

"Kevin, *chill*." A.J. ordered. "Look in that room, man. The only good thing about it is that no one can get in at him."

"Which right now, is all he wants."

"What he really wants is love," Brian argued. "You saw his face when we were singing. He wanted to be part of it."

"Not enough."

"Are you giving up?" Howie challenged him. "'Cause if you are man, just say so. Don't make us waste our time if you're not going to be part of this."

"I..." Kevin's gazed flicked over to Nick, who seemed to be tracing something in the floor of his prison with a toe. "I just don't know how we can help him."

"Hey, it's not hopeless yet," Brian comforted his cousin. "We've still got time, we just have to think."

"How did you get him to trust you?" A.J. wondered. "You said he was afraid of you too at first."

"Yeah... Remember that song of his? The new one Kev hates?"

"The drum solo?"

"Yup. I started tapping it out on the window."

"I couldn't remember that to save my life. Or his."

"Bone!"

"It's true D..." A.J. crossed his arms across his chest. "Now if we had some spray paint..."

"Sure," Brian decided the last statement was one of those 'if we all lived in A.J.'s brain we'd get it' things. "But we don't."

"So let's find the door."

"Huh?"

"The first time, there was a door," A.J. reminded him patiently. "He's in a room, the door must be attached to it."

Brian blinked at A.J.'s transition from complete nonsense to utter wisdom.

"How?" Howie wanted to know. "With all this mist..."

"Just 'cause we can't see walls doesn't mean they ain't there," was the reasoning. "We'll feel 'em."

"Worth a try," Kevin conceded. Howie decided he was getting the hang of moving independently from the group and might be able to handle this idea. He nodded.

"Rok, you go first. That way when we hit a corner we can go ahead and turn it without letting go."

"Why don't we split up?" Brian suggested. "Faster that way. As long as I'm a little ahead it shouldn't matter which side of the thing I'm on. And the less time it takes..."

A.J. nodded, "How are we for time?"

"Okay, I think," was Howie's uncertain response. "I've never done it like this before. But no headache or anything yet."

"Let's do it. If you find something, yell for me." Brian walked right up to the window, put both hands against it, and drummed a little of Nick's song. When he was sure he had Nick's attention, he told him, "We're going to get you out of here Nicky. Try and help us a little, ok?"

Nick gave no sign he understood. Brian sighed and slid his hands down the window into the orange mist. They disappeared from view, but he could feel something under his hands, fuzzy and hard, like mossy stones. "You were right Aje. Kev, you follow me. See you at the door, guys."


	37. Chapter 37

Howie obediently followed A.J. away from Brian and Kevin. He hadn't mastered the use of his hands yet, so he wasn't much help at feeling for the door, but he remembered Mindi's words and knew he'd be useful once the door was found.

"What's it feel like, Bone?" he inquired as they walked.

"It's hard and fuzzy - like an overripe peach," A.J. decided. "Wonder why?"

"If this was a sci-fi movie, the answer would be something we're better off not knowing."

"Good point." He stopped abruptly, "Hey can you see B-rok?"

Howie glanced to his right, restraining the urge to look too hard. "Nope."

"Me neither. Hope they hit a corner or we're gonna be stuck here for a while." A.J. groped around the corner until his fingers came into contact with the next wall. "Here goes nothing."

* * *

"Damn it's a small room," Kevin commented. "I think we're already where the window was on the first wall."

"Prison's never big Kev," was the less than comforting reply.

"Can you feel him?"

"Sort of. Not if I think about it hard. But it's easier when I'm touching him like this."

"Touching him?"

"He built this, remember? It's all part of him. If I just stand here, really still, with my hands on the wall..." Brian closed his eyes, "I can hear him crying."

Kevin followed suit, listening hard. "I can't hear anything."

"Not with your ears, cuz. With your heart. Listen inside yourself."

He stood silent for a long moment, trying to open himself up to whatever Brian could sense. Deep down inside, he felt a loneliness, an empty hopelessness. "Don't give up on us, Nicky" he whispered fiercely. "We're coming for you."

The stone seemed to smooth out under his fingers. Brian gasped. Kevin opened his eyes, and saw the door.

* * *

A.J. froze, unable to go further.

"Did they stop?" Howie asked, suddenly excited, "Did they find it?"

"They sure as hell stopped," A.J. threw himself against the invisible barrier. "'Cause I can't go another step. Brian!" His yell was swallowed up by the omnipresent mist. "Great. What are we supposed to do, go back until we find 'em?"

"Maybe not." Whether because of the new obstacle or the length of time they'd been in contact with Brian, Howie was beginning to feel a little lightheaded. "We're all in Nick's brain now, right?"

"Think so."

"We could ask him."

"That makes no sense... and a hell of a lot of sense." A.J. pondered the idea. "Hey Nick, let us get to Brian and Kev so we can save your ass!"

"Alex_an_der," Howie reprimanded. "That's not what I meant."

"Yeah, but it made me feel better," he grinned. "You try. You're the peacekeeping, diplomatic type."

"Um..." Howie thought long and hard. "Nick? It's me, Howie. We're trying to help you here, but we're a little stuck. What can we do to keep helping you? We can't find Brian, can you show us how to help?"

"You're talking to him like he's ten again," A.J. warned.

"He looked twenty-one to you?"

"Well no, but..."

"C'mon Kaos. This is a maze - you know I suck at this kind of game." He looked at A.J., "Better?"

"Obviously." A.J. stared at the door materialising in front of them. "It was probably the mention of video games that did it. Uh... how do you feel, D?"

"Ow," was all that Howie could manage.

"Thought so. You're all here now," he reached out and poked his friend. "Yup, solid."

Howie looked around him, realising the TV screen effect had disappeared. He ran a hand over the wood of the door.

"Is that for both of us?"

"I really don't know."

Without really thinking about it, A.J. sent, _Nick? Can I come in?_

_Aje?_ The shock and delight in Nick's voice was a little overwhelming. _You're here? It's *you*?_

_'Course it's me. Think you're up to letting me in?_

"You are in."


	38. Chapter 38

A.J. blinked. Nick was standing in front of him looking tired, a little disheveled and bruised, but not bad, all things considered. Not sure whether to laugh or cry, he opted for the obvious; he grabbed the younger man in a tight hug. The moment Nick's arms embraced him in response, A.J. knew everything would be okay

"What are you doing here, man?" Nick asked once A.J. had released him.

"Dude, you think we were gonna leave you stuck in here? We came to get you out."

"You did?" Nick frowned, confused. "Why? It's better for everyone if I just stay here."

"Nick, quit that noise," A.J. admonished. "You do not want to spend the rest of your life alone in the dark. You *hate* the dark!"

Nick shrugged. "It's my dark. It's quiet, it's simple, it's safe."

"Safe from what?" Almost instantly, Nick flinched, betraying the answer.

"Safe from us? We kind of dragged you along with us the last couple days, huh?" Studying the ground, Nick slowly nodded.

"If we knew how to deal with things without hurting you, we would have."

Nick continued to study the ground.

Out of nowhere, Brian appeared. The mute plea on A.J.'s face and Nick's quiet, skeptical body language gave Brian his cue.

"It's a raw deal Frack," he began gently. "You saved our lives and we just made you feel bad. We gave you those bruises. We made you build this. But you're our little bro. No matter what we say or do when we're upset and confused, we care about you."

"We fight *all* the time, Nick." A.J. continued. "And sure, you usually sulk for a while, but it's been a couple of days. Time for the olive branch, as D would say."

"D..." Nick looked up at them, his eyes pools of hurt. "Howie's *scared* of me."

"He's really not," Brian assured him hastily. "He's just allergic."

"You're *what*?" Nick demanded of Howie, who materialised in front of him.

"I'm allergic to psychic energy, Nicky" Howie shrugged apologetically. "It's nobody's fault."

"Then what are you doing here??? You could die!"

"So could you," was the quiet response."I wasn't going to just let that happen."

"I don't get it."

Kevin finally made it through. He listened to his cousin say, "That's because you've been in here too long. You forgot some things are more important than being safe."

"Like what?"

"Like you," Kevin declared. "You forgot you're worth fighting for. You forgot that no matter how mad or upset we get at you, it's still worth standing up for yourself. I forgot too, for a while." He regarded his young friend's fragile physique. "I bet a lot of the worst stuff was because I forgot.If I'd known I was hurting you so much, I would have remembered sooner..."

"That's past Kev," Howie interrupted. "What's important is now. We've remembered that you're worth fighting for. It's time you remembered that too, Nick. It's time for you to wake up."

"I don't know if I can, guys." For once, Brian detected a note of frustration, rather than out and out hoplessness.

"You know the way," he encouraged. "And we'll be there for you, no matter what."

"There are lots of people who want to help," A.J. continued. "Your team, your family, the fans, the doctors... hell even the media are rooting for you."

"Really?" The incredulity in Nick's voice was painful.

"There's a lot of people out there who love you. They can't reach you when you're shut in here."

"I... " Nick ran a hand through his hair, "All right, I'll try. But you gotta go first, give me something to aim for."

"Sure thing, bro."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"All of you?"

"Come here, you idiot." The four older Backstreet Boys surrounded their youngest member in a group hug. After a long moment of togetherness, the walls began to shake.

"Better go," Nick warned. "The door's that way," he pointed.

"See you soon, Nicky. Let's *go*, guys." Howie led the way towards a glowing orange portal.


	39. Chapter 39

With the walls shaking around them and the ceiling threatening to cave in on top of them, the Boys ran hard, seeing nothing but the glowing orange door ahead of them. It was as if they were in a dream. No matter how fast they seemed to be running, no matter how hard they tried, the door just didn't get any closer.

"Nick, let us out!" Brian yelled, but Nick was nowhere in sight.

Howie was cursing himself as he ran. He had convinced himself that when it was time, he would know what to do. That he would magically save them all from getting stuck. Now even Brian couldn't get out. The door throbbed orange, mocking him. "How-ie, How-ie, How-" he stopped dead. A.J. ran into him and they sprawled on the ground in a tangle of arms and legs.

When they were back on their feet, Howie listened again. He wasn't imagining things, the door *was* calling him. With Mindi's voice. "You guys hear that?"

"The whole place shaking?" A.J. dripped sarcasm, "No, D. We can't hear that over the roar of our own breathing."

"No, nitwit." He gave his friend a withering glare. "Mindi."

Brian shook his head. "You sure?"

"Howie!" The sound made him jump. He glanced to his right... it sounded as if she was yelling in his ear...

"I'm such a dunce!"

"We know Howard."

"Shut up, Bone." Of *course* it sounded as if she was yelling in his ear - she was. He wasn't really here, after all - he was sitting in his hospital room, looking into Mindi's eyes.

"_Uh oh, D. You're going all fuzzy again._" The TV screen effect returned. If he blinked, he'd probably be seeing Mindi's face instead of the grey and orange landscape. But what would happen to the rest of them?

_When you need to come back, look at Howie. He'll take you out._

 

_I guess the 'zoom' button means 'walk towards'_

 

_You're the anchor._

"That's it!" He was so excited he would have bounced, if he'd known how in this state.

"_Sometime soon, you're gonna have to start making sense Howie,_" Kevin warned.

"Mindi warned me we'd probably have trouble getting out," he explained. "She told me I had to lead you out. I think I've figured out how."

"_Wanna hurry up?_" A.J. demanded, eyeing the ceiling.

"She called me 'the anchor'. I need you guys to hold on to me - I think I can zoom in on the door and get us there."

"_'Hold on'? I went through you!_"

"But Brian didn't. If you really need to get hold of me, I bet you can." The room gave another ominous rumble and A.J. made a grab for Howie's hand. This time, it held.

"_Still don't know how long this will last,_" he muttered. "_C'mon guys._"

Once everyone had a grip on him somewhere, Howie focused on the door which had been taunting them. He stared hard, inspecting it closely. Sure enough, it grew larger and larger, until they were standing right at the edge. "See you on the other side, guys." He blinked.

* * *

Brian fell through the door and landed, waking with a start. Heaviness and fatigue descended upon him, along with a vague awareness that he was no longer seeing or thinking for two. It took him another few moments to realise that the heaviness was his own body, and that he was sitting in the hospital again. That awareness gave him energy.

"Frack?" He looked towards the still-motionless form on the bed. "Frack you said you'd come back."

"If we gave him something to focus on." A.J. looked haggard, and about to fall over. "I made Mindi send me down," he explained briefly. "Kev's gonna walk. Howie's.... Howie *wants* to come down, Nick. Looks like you're gonna have to go to him instead."

"He's ok?" Brian asked, concerned.

"Mindi says so. He passed out before I woke up."

* * *

Nick swam slowly towards consciousness. When he said 'something I can focus on' he had meant singing, but in the last second before Brian let go of his mind, he realised where his friend was, and that Brian was holding his hand. His left hand. So there should be some warmth, a little pressure... Brian's aura. He didn't have to be fully conscious to sense *that*. There it was, shining strong and true as always. The closer he got to it though...

_You're in a hospital, doofus. Of course there are other people around._ Once he thought about it, it didn't take much to rebuild his mental sheilds. That done, waking up became safer. A.J. was close by, too. There was Jacob, Suzanne was a little further away, with Kevin. Where was Howie?

"_Howie *wants* to come down, Nick. Looks like you're gonna have to go to him instead._" Right. Allergic. Didn't need prying minds right now. God, waking up was hard. His body was...

The physical sensation of pain woke Nick right up. "Ow," he groaned, eyes still shut.

"Am I hearing things?" A.J. inquired.

"I think he's complaining again," Brian confirmed, his eyes bright with happy tears. "What's wrong Frack, can't take a little pain?"

"Brian..." Nick began, "if you call me a wuss, so help me..."

"Open your eyes if you're gonna threaten me."

"Ow. Light. Ow." He squinted through the fluorescent glare. "You *enjoy* seeing me in pain, don't you?"

"Shut up, Nicky." A.J. returned affectionately.

_Kevin's coming in,_ Suzanne broadcast. _He gets to 'discover' Nick. Alex and Brian, go get some rest._ She sent them back to the hotel in an instant. _Welcome back, kiddo._

Nick struggled to sit up as Kevin entered his field of view, and discovered the restraints. Kevin shook his head. "Relax, junior."

"I'm sorry, Kev." For a moment, Kevin glimpsed the timid little boy again. "I know you hate lies."

"You did what you had to," he reached out and tousled Nick's hair. "I shouldn't have reacted like that."

"No more lies," Nick assured him. "The truth's pretty weird, though."

"No more lies," Kevin agreed. "But the truth can wait." He pushed the call button by Nick's bed, and waited.


End file.
